Una’s Blog

15
Aug

30 Your subconscious mind

by Una Hearne. In my last blog I wrote about having a vision to motivate you. I want to talk about another good reason to have a clear vision for yourself. (Note I tend to use the word vision - if you don't like this word or it doesn't resonate with you please substitute whichever of the following you prefer:  goal, dream, outcome, mission, objective, desire, aim, target, intention, destination.) Our subconscious or unconscious mind uses metaphors (symbols, pictures, concepts) to make sense of the world and to shape ...

06
Aug

by Una Hearne. There are only two reasons we will take action: 1.  We enjoy the activity (say, eating chocolate) 2.  The result of doing it gives us something we really want (say, taking exercise) Clearly there is no problem with motivation when we enjoy the activity. So how do we make sure the stuff we don't enjoy doing actually happens so that we get the outcome we want? One answer is to have a vision and keep it very much in our conscious mind. We need to be conscious of what we want and why we want ...

18
Jul

28 I hate having to sell myself

by Una Hearne. Is this a cultural thing or a human thing? I am most familiar with Irish and English people and there is an attitude bred into a lot of us that talking about ourselves in positive terms is a bad thing. It is considered far more virtuous to be modest and to underplay our achievements. In most public situations this is fine, it is true that we find a boastful or self absorbed person tedious or even obnoxious. On the other hand if we don't ...

04
Jul

27 Size doesn’t matter

by Una Hearne. Sometimes in coaching it's not about big dramatic external change like a change of career, moving country or starting the next multinational corporation. Sometimes a small internal shift can change your life. A change of perspective, a shift in beliefs, a re-direction of strategy. Clients often come to coaches saying they want to change career, to do something completely different, they are bored or fed up or never really wanted the career they have. Some do change to a completely different area, some change aspects of their career and some change nothing ...

27
Jun

26 Core Values

by Una Hearne. What are your core values and why would you need to know them? Definitions of values tend to cover two broad concepts. One is the principles or moral values we stand for, or will stand up for (like freedom, respect, honesty etc). We have a deeply ingrained set of beliefs about right and wrong, value judgements which drive our thinking and behaviour. The other is more about the things we value in our lives (relationships, lifestyle, environment, contribution etc). These can be tangible or intangible and are also drivers of ...

20
Jun

25 Positive thinking 2

by Una Hearne I said in a previous blog that you can choose to become a more positive thinker if you want to. For those of you who would like this in theory and are asking 'YES, BUT HOW?' I would like to share a simple technique I use . It has helped me to develop habitually positive thoughts. It appears too simple to work and so is easy to dismiss, however, I find it to be incredibly powerful. Don't take my word for it, try it out yourself. The concept is simple, the practice ...

13
Jun

24 Who you work with matters!

by Una Hearne. It feels great when we work with people we respect and/or like, in a job we enjoy. No job is perfect of course, but generally we know whether we are happy or not overall. If you have ever been stuck in a job where you are constantly exposed to negativity (constant complaining, put downs, bullying, politics, manipulation etc) you will know how stressful it can be. Long term stress, even relatively low grade, as we know, is very destructive for us. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. The people you work with can ...

06
Jun

23 Engaging a coach

by Una Hearne. Coaching is an unregulated industry at the moment. Anyone can call themselves a coach and charge people money for what may or may not be coaching. If you think about longer established professions such as medicine, law or accounting, their qualifications, code of ethics and governing bodies provide a lot of protection for clients. It may sometimes be unwieldy and a hindrance but overall, proper regulation does protect people. Paradoxically I'm not hung up on qualifications for some professions, particularly the ones engaged in supporting people in their daily lives. I ...

30
May

22 Is it realistic to dream?

by Una Hearne. I spend a lot of time as a coach and trainer trying to crowbar people's minds open long enough to allow them to dream for themselves. We are brought up to be deeply suspicious of dreams. Not the dreams we have when we sleep, but the dreams we can imagine for our future in the real world, beyond our current experience. We often react to each other's dreams for the future as if they are nonsense - as if we are completely mad to think bigger for ourselves. And yet, imagining ...

23
May

21 Positive thinking 1

by Una Hearne. Habitually positive thinkers are happier than habitually negative thinkers. I'm just going to take that as read and gallop on. Here's the thing, your experience of life (your thoughts and feelings) is created in your brain. Events happen, people behave as they do and you interpret everything that happens around you according to your beliefs, values, previous experience and other unique personal filters. If your thoughts and feelings were created by the events or other people, outside of you, we would all experience the same thoughts and feelings as a result of ...

16
May

20 I hate networking!

by Una Hearne. Really? I don't think anyone actually hates networking. Controversial! I think the fact that most people say they hate it comes from a misunderstanding about what networking is. Most of us agree that networking is a key part of most aspects of work, from getting a job or starting a business, to gaining promotion or new clients. But what do we really mean by networking? The truth is networking events have their place, it is a way to meet new people in an appropriate environment but they are not where most networking happens. ...

09
May

by Una Hearne. People are often prompted to use a coach because they are unhappy with some aspect of their life or career. But it doesn't have to be about moving on from a bad situation. It is about moving forward from wherever you are. Coaching, at its heart, is about raising your awareness and developing as a person. This is just as valid when life is great as it is when life is tough. Change is inevitable, life will move on and the more conscious and engaged you are, the richer ...

02
May

by Una Hearne. Edison said 'I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work!' Perseverance is one of the characteristics of successful human beings. Sometimes in the face of overwhelming odds. Sometimes sheer bloody-mindedness when all around you would have given up gracefully and are just waiting to cart you off to the funny farm, is just the ticket for success. It is a judgement call. Most of the big decisions in your life are choices with no guarantees. If it is a decision about your career / business / ...

25
Apr

by Una Hearne. 'What did you do at the weekend?' 'Nothing.' 'Why? What's wrong with you? Why weren't you hiking/ biking/ going to the gym/ golfing/ running and out drinking and dancing till three in the morning?' Why do we have to fill our time with doing to justify our existence? If you have spent time doing nothing and it made you miserable, depressed, frustrated - then yes, I agree that was a waste of time. But if you have spent time doing nothing and it made you happy and relaxed - what could possibly be ...

18
Apr

16 Red Herrings

by Una Hearne. You know the excuses we allow ourselves to believe so that we can avoid having to do something? I call them red herrings. Sometimes it's ok to use them, but if they are stopping you creating the life you want well, that's not what you want is it? The red herrings I see over and over again are: I don't have the money I don't have the time I don't know the right people I don't have the right qualifications/ experience I don't know how to do that They sound so reasonable, don't they? When people ...

11
Apr

15 Spooky magic

by Una Hearne. Magic happens around written goals. I have experienced this with my own goals and with clients' goals. Not all goals mind you - but more than you would expect - enough to make it spooky. I get my clients to write specific goals, descriptive, detailed and as fully fleshed out as possible. From houses to job descriptions, life partners to behaviour change with specific results, goal after goal has manifested in spooky detail. As I said, not all goals but too many to dismiss. I do love spooky magic! I also like to ...

04
Apr

by Una Hearne. By authentic, I mean right for you, in your life. And by dream, I mean dream, vision, aim, outcome, goal, plan, wish, desire - whatever word works for you and means 'the way you want you and your life to be'. Like all life choices, whether to pursue a dream or not is a personal judgement call. However, over the years I have learned there are some key characteristics by which you can recognise if a dream is authentic, the more of the following that apply the more likely you should ...

28
Mar

13 There’s a lie in believe

by Una Hearne. I can't..., I am..., I won't..., I never..., I always..., I do..., I will..., I must..., I can..., I'm not..., I don't..., I must not... If you take a page and finish each of the above as a sentence (without thinking too much) it will show up much of the truth of what you think and believe about yourself and your life at this moment in time. Go on, get a pen and paper, write quickly, no editing. I'll wait... Done? How did that go for you? Interesting isn't it? What we believe about ourselves, the world and each other, colours our expectations ...

21
Mar

by Una Hearne. Job hunting is a drain on all of your resources, financial, physical, mental and emotional and is only rewarding at the very end of the process. Added to which, you worry throughout that it will end in failure, which saps even more energy. Some people give up. This pretty much guarantees no job. Not a great strategy, however understandable. Some keep going until they find a job they like and can settle into for a few months or years. This is a good strategy, this works. Others take the first job they're ...

14
Mar

11 What is coaching?

by Una Hearne. Good news - You have the power to manage your life. YAY! Bad news - It is your responsibility to manage your life and no one else's. DOH! How are you doing with this? As we have evolved as a species, we have developed specialities. For example, early on, farmers, potters, builders, sailors and other professions emerged as the advantages of specialising in different bodies of knowledge became apparent. The whole community does better when the sum of all the knowledge and skill is more than one individual could contribute. Doctors, cleaners, ...

07
Mar

by Una Hearne. The immediate results of any one action are usually fairly predictable. Think of putting your glass back on the table after drinking, usually this results in the glass being on the table. It generally doesn't leap off the table or turn into a cow. However, even a little complexity very quickly makes results unpredictable. For example, if I drive to the next town, which route will be quicker? This depends on the traffic, traffic lights, other people's driving and many other things not in my control. I have to take ...

28
Feb

by Una Hearne. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Every time I heard someone say 'You have to believe in yourself if you want to make it', I felt a knot in my stomach. 'What'   I thought   'If I just don't?' Should I just give up now? When I first dreamed of being a coach, trainer and writer, I couldn't see how it was possible. I didn't have the qualifications, any relevant experience, didn't know any of the right people, had no money to study, little energy at the end of every working day and I had to keep my crappy ...

21
Feb

8 How do you deal with rejection when job hunting?

by Una Hearne. You send out CVs, you apply for jobs, you do interviews and... months later, still nothing. What happens? You feel rejected and lose confidence. This lowers the quality and impact of your applications and interviews, which means you have less chance of getting a job and so it spirals on. The key thing in a job hunt is to maintain your confidence so you consistently perform at your best. Easy to say I know. It means not allowing the process of job hunting to get you down or let negative ...

14
Feb

7 What is coaching?

by Una Hearne. Sometimes it seems hard to explain! It is a series of powerful, purposeful conversations between a client and coach over a period of time. It is a transformative process. It is a personal and developmental support. It is a success accelerator. It is empowering. It gets you back in touch with yourself. It is facilitated goal setting. It is a tailored process which helps you get from where you are to where you want to be quicker and more effectively than you can on your own. It is all ...

07
Feb

6 When is redundancy a good thing?

by Una Hearne. We talk about and act as if this current recession is a disaster. Of course, in many ways it absolutely is. It has created plenty of financial hardship through redundancy and cuts. However, it has also forced many people to stop and reassess their lives which is always a good thing. It has also created much opportunity for those who can see it. There has been a huge number of redundancies and for the first time a large number of these people are highly experienced/qualified and never expected to be ...

31
Jan

5 We are not afraid of dying.

by Una Hearne. I remember a lot of funerals when I was a child. Two grandparents and three uncles anyway. Large gatherings of extended family, ham sandwiches and fizzy drinks. My dad told me people are afraid of death, that's why they don't want to talk about it. People spoke of death in hushed tones. I understood the reverence, after all it is a huge thing. But afraid of it? I never truly understood that. Death always seemed pretty natural to me, inescapably part of life. Ok, I was an odd kid, I'll ...

24
Jan

4 What’s gone wrong with recruitment?

by Una Hearne. The most common, and potentially most ineffective, way to go about job hunting is to send your CV into recruitment agencies. The idea is to match suitable candidates to a particular role. I'm just going to say it - it's not working for most people. In my opinion it would be equally effective to pick names out of a hat. Recently I have noticed: For a very small number of people, who's CVs have all of the relevant key words and who fit technical job descriptions precisely, recruitment agencies can still ...

18
Jan

by Una Hearne. One of the key skills in coaching is listening. Listening in a way that we don't often encounter in our lives. For me, the best description is by Nancy Kline in her book Time to Think. In the introduction she describes how her mother listened to them as children: "She simply gave us attention. But the quality of that attention was catalytic." Nancy then goes on to describe how later studies of thinking in students showed that: "The important factor in whether or not they could think for themselves, afresh, at a ...

17
Jan

by Una Hearne. Easy! When you have reached your goal. You got the job / went on holiday / got promoted / have a successful business or whatever. Right? Well. Maybe. And then again, maybe not. It depends on what you personally mean by success. We have all sorts of notions of what success means - money, houses, cars, lifestyle, achievements, awards and accolades, the lovers, the family, the friends - all that nice stuff. The feeling of being successful of course comes from inside you. It is the meaning that you personally attach to the stuff ...

16
Jan

1 There are limits!

by Una Hearne. Does it bug you when coaches and inspirational speakers tell you that you can do anything you want? Absolutely anything, with no limits? It really bugged me over the years. We all know there are limits. Time, for example, is a hard limit, we cannot create any more of it than we have. We have to prioritise what we spend our time on because we simply cannot do everything. No matter how many secrets we read. Having said that, the idea that life is just the way it is and ...