Una’s Blog

30
May

22 Is it realistic to dream?

by Una Hearne. I spend a lot of time as a coach and trainer trying to crowbar people's minds open long enough to allow them to dream for themselves. We are brought up to be deeply suspicious of dreams. Not the dreams we have when we sleep, but the dreams we can imagine for our future in the real world, beyond our current experience. We often react to each other's dreams for the future as if they are nonsense - as if we are completely mad to think bigger for ourselves. And yet, imagining ...

23
May

21 Positive thinking 1

by Una Hearne. Habitually positive thinkers are happier than habitually negative thinkers. I'm just going to take that as read and gallop on. Here's the thing, your experience of life (your thoughts and feelings) is created in your brain. Events happen, people behave as they do and you interpret everything that happens around you according to your beliefs, values, previous experience and other unique personal filters. If your thoughts and feelings were created by the events or other people, outside of you, we would all experience the same thoughts and feelings as a result of ...

16
May

20 I hate networking!

by Una Hearne. Really? I don't think anyone actually hates networking. Controversial! I think the fact that most people say they hate it comes from a misunderstanding about what networking is. Most of us agree that networking is a key part of most aspects of work, from getting a job or starting a business, to gaining promotion or new clients. But what do we really mean by networking? The truth is networking events have their place, it is a way to meet new people in an appropriate environment but they are not where most networking happens. ...

09
May

by Una Hearne. People are often prompted to use a coach because they are unhappy with some aspect of their life or career. But it doesn't have to be about moving on from a bad situation. It is about moving forward from wherever you are. Coaching, at its heart, is about raising your awareness and developing as a person. This is just as valid when life is great as it is when life is tough. Change is inevitable, life will move on and the more conscious and engaged you are, the richer ...

02
May

by Una Hearne. Edison said 'I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work!' Perseverance is one of the characteristics of successful human beings. Sometimes in the face of overwhelming odds. Sometimes sheer bloody-mindedness when all around you would have given up gracefully and are just waiting to cart you off to the funny farm, is just the ticket for success. It is a judgement call. Most of the big decisions in your life are choices with no guarantees. If it is a decision about your career / business / ...

25
Apr

by Una Hearne. 'What did you do at the weekend?' 'Nothing.' 'Why? What's wrong with you? Why weren't you hiking/ biking/ going to the gym/ golfing/ running and out drinking and dancing till three in the morning?' Why do we have to fill our time with doing to justify our existence? If you have spent time doing nothing and it made you miserable, depressed, frustrated - then yes, I agree that was a waste of time. But if you have spent time doing nothing and it made you happy and relaxed - what could possibly be ...

18
Apr

16 Red Herrings

by Una Hearne. You know the excuses we allow ourselves to believe so that we can avoid having to do something? I call them red herrings. Sometimes it's ok to use them, but if they are stopping you creating the life you want well, that's not what you want is it? The red herrings I see over and over again are: I don't have the money I don't have the time I don't know the right people I don't have the right qualifications/ experience I don't know how to do that They sound so reasonable, don't they? When people ...

11
Apr

15 Spooky magic

by Una Hearne. Magic happens around written goals. I have experienced this with my own goals and with clients' goals. Not all goals mind you - but more than you would expect - enough to make it spooky. I get my clients to write specific goals, descriptive, detailed and as fully fleshed out as possible. From houses to job descriptions, life partners to behaviour change with specific results, goal after goal has manifested in spooky detail. As I said, not all goals but too many to dismiss. I do love spooky magic! I also like to ...

04
Apr

by Una Hearne. By authentic, I mean right for you, in your life. And by dream, I mean dream, vision, aim, outcome, goal, plan, wish, desire - whatever word works for you and means 'the way you want you and your life to be'. Like all life choices, whether to pursue a dream or not is a personal judgement call. However, over the years I have learned there are some key characteristics by which you can recognise if a dream is authentic, the more of the following that apply the more likely you should ...

28
Mar

13 There’s a lie in believe

by Una Hearne. I can't..., I am..., I won't..., I never..., I always..., I do..., I will..., I must..., I can..., I'm not..., I don't..., I must not... If you take a page and finish each of the above as a sentence (without thinking too much) it will show up much of the truth of what you think and believe about yourself and your life at this moment in time. Go on, get a pen and paper, write quickly, no editing. I'll wait... Done? How did that go for you? Interesting isn't it? What we believe about ourselves, the world and each other, colours our expectations ...

21
Mar

by Una Hearne. Job hunting is a drain on all of your resources, financial, physical, mental and emotional and is only rewarding at the very end of the process. Added to which, you worry throughout that it will end in failure, which saps even more energy. Some people give up. This pretty much guarantees no job. Not a great strategy, however understandable. Some keep going until they find a job they like and can settle into for a few months or years. This is a good strategy, this works. Others take the first job they're ...

14
Mar

11 What is coaching?

by Una Hearne. Good news - You have the power to manage your life. YAY! Bad news - It is your responsibility to manage your life and no one else's. DOH! How are you doing with this? As we have evolved as a species, we have developed specialities. For example, early on, farmers, potters, builders, sailors and other professions emerged as the advantages of specialising in different bodies of knowledge became apparent. The whole community does better when the sum of all the knowledge and skill is more than one individual could contribute. Doctors, cleaners, ...

07
Mar

by Una Hearne. The immediate results of any one action are usually fairly predictable. Think of putting your glass back on the table after drinking, usually this results in the glass being on the table. It generally doesn't leap off the table or turn into a cow. However, even a little complexity very quickly makes results unpredictable. For example, if I drive to the next town, which route will be quicker? This depends on the traffic, traffic lights, other people's driving and many other things not in my control. I have to take ...

28
Feb

by Una Hearne. ABSOLUTELY NOT. Every time I heard someone say 'You have to believe in yourself if you want to make it', I felt a knot in my stomach. 'What'   I thought   'If I just don't?' Should I just give up now? When I first dreamed of being a coach, trainer and writer, I couldn't see how it was possible. I didn't have the qualifications, any relevant experience, didn't know any of the right people, had no money to study, little energy at the end of every working day and I had to keep my crappy ...

21
Feb

8 How do you deal with rejection when job hunting?

by Una Hearne. You send out CVs, you apply for jobs, you do interviews and... months later, still nothing. What happens? You feel rejected and lose confidence. This lowers the quality and impact of your applications and interviews, which means you have less chance of getting a job and so it spirals on. The key thing in a job hunt is to maintain your confidence so you consistently perform at your best. Easy to say I know. It means not allowing the process of job hunting to get you down or let negative ...

14
Feb

7 What is coaching?

by Una Hearne. Sometimes it seems hard to explain! It is a series of powerful, purposeful conversations between a client and coach over a period of time. It is a transformative process. It is a personal and developmental support. It is a success accelerator. It is empowering. It gets you back in touch with yourself. It is facilitated goal setting. It is a tailored process which helps you get from where you are to where you want to be quicker and more effectively than you can on your own. It is all ...

07
Feb

6 When is redundancy a good thing?

by Una Hearne. We talk about and act as if this current recession is a disaster. Of course, in many ways it absolutely is. It has created plenty of financial hardship through redundancy and cuts. However, it has also forced many people to stop and reassess their lives which is always a good thing. It has also created much opportunity for those who can see it. There has been a huge number of redundancies and for the first time a large number of these people are highly experienced/qualified and never expected to be ...

31
Jan

5 We are not afraid of dying.

by Una Hearne. I remember a lot of funerals when I was a child. Two grandparents and three uncles anyway. Large gatherings of extended family, ham sandwiches and fizzy drinks. My dad told me people are afraid of death, that's why they don't want to talk about it. People spoke of death in hushed tones. I understood the reverence, after all it is a huge thing. But afraid of it? I never truly understood that. Death always seemed pretty natural to me, inescapably part of life. Ok, I was an odd kid, I'll ...

24
Jan

4 What’s gone wrong with recruitment?

by Una Hearne. The most common, and potentially most ineffective, way to go about job hunting is to send your CV into recruitment agencies. The idea is to match suitable candidates to a particular role. I'm just going to say it - it's not working for most people. In my opinion it would be equally effective to pick names out of a hat. Recently I have noticed: For a very small number of people, who's CVs have all of the relevant key words and who fit technical job descriptions precisely, recruitment agencies can still ...

18
Jan

by Una Hearne. One of the key skills in coaching is listening. Listening in a way that we don't often encounter in our lives. For me, the best description is by Nancy Kline in her book Time to Think. In the introduction she describes how her mother listened to them as children: "She simply gave us attention. But the quality of that attention was catalytic." Nancy then goes on to describe how later studies of thinking in students showed that: "The important factor in whether or not they could think for themselves, afresh, at a ...

17
Jan

by Una Hearne. Easy! When you have reached your goal. You got the job / went on holiday / got promoted / have a successful business or whatever. Right? Well. Maybe. And then again, maybe not. It depends on what you personally mean by success. We have all sorts of notions of what success means - money, houses, cars, lifestyle, achievements, awards and accolades, the lovers, the family, the friends - all that nice stuff. The feeling of being successful of course comes from inside you. It is the meaning that you personally attach to the stuff ...

16
Jan

1 There are limits!

by Una Hearne. Does it bug you when coaches and inspirational speakers tell you that you can do anything you want? Absolutely anything, with no limits? It really bugged me over the years. We all know there are limits. Time, for example, is a hard limit, we cannot create any more of it than we have. We have to prioritise what we spend our time on because we simply cannot do everything. No matter how many secrets we read. Having said that, the idea that life is just the way it is and ...