by Una Hearne. *Little announcement – I’m taking a break from blogging for the next few months as there is too much other stuff going on – I’ll be back! It is my practice between Christmas and New Year to take some time out just for myself. Simple quiet reflective time. I reflect on the past year, where I'm at and what I want next year. It's one of my favourite times of the year. We often only check in with ourselves and take stock of our lives when something goes wrong or we are ...
by Una Hearne. The immediate results of any one action are usually fairly predictable. Think of putting your glass back on the table after drinking, usually this results in the glass being on the table. It generally doesn't leap off the table or turn into a cow. However, even a little complexity very quickly makes results unpredictable. For example, if I drive to the next town, which route will be quicker? This depends on the traffic, traffic lights, other people's driving and many other things not in my control. I have to take ...
by Una Hearne There are only two reasons human beings will take action: We enjoy the activity - say eating chocolate for example. We really, really want the outcome - say exercising or cleaning the house. Clearly there is no problem with motivation when we enjoy the activity. And I know a lot of you would put exercising in the first category above, I can hear you shouting :-). What we enjoy is, of course, different for everyone. So how do we make sure the things we are less enthusiastic about doing get done? ...
by Una Hearne. This is yet another tricky area. You cannot set goals for yourself where you are not in control of the actions or changes needed. For example, you can't set a goal for a specific person to fall in love with you - you have no influence over their true feelings. You cannot set a goal like getting a specific job, you are not the decision maker. Setting a goal to win the lotto is also not realistic, even if you take the action of buying the ticket, the chances of winning ...
by Una Hearne. When I ran my three day 'Designing Your Future' (TM) course the middle day was all about planning and goals. We talked about goal setting in the morning and how the size of goals and words you use, need to be right for you. In the afternoon we made plans. The extraordinary thing was that although over 100 people have done the course in total, no two plans looked alike. When you give yourself permission to do it your way you create something unique - and it is what will work ...
by Una Hearne. This is another tricky area in the manifesting of Visions (goals, dreams, plans, aims - whatever your having yourself). Happiness is far more about your internal world than external circumstances. If it was about external circumstances then everyone who has the things you think you need to be happy would be deliriously happy. Right? Yet they are often miserable. So the idea 'I'll be happy when I have - {insert desire here} - is a trap. But hang on Una, isn't that the whole reason we create Visions? To make ourselves happy? Yes ...
by Una Hearne. Making a plan is a reality test in a sense. Obviously the real test will be when you take the action but planning can save lots of heartache. You can anticipate obstacles and be ready for them while your neck is not actually on the line so to speak. Planning is simply exploring on paper. There will be plenty of obstacles you don't anticipate, but at least this way you will be more prepared and confident. Like Walt Disney in the April blog it is useful to adopt the mindset ...
by Una Hearne. Of course there's no secret! If there were you wouldn't find so many different theories, methods, models and templates. Here's why - our minds work differently. Uniquely as it happens, so there couldn't be one way that would work for everyone. Most of the methods you find will work for some people and there are a few popular methods which work for the majority to some degree. The more people involved in implementing a plan - in business for example - the simpler and clearer the plan has to be to ...
by Una Hearne. Walt was successful, right? He had big dreams and created beloved movies and theme parks, innovating all the time. His method was modelled by Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) expert, Robert Dilts and I learned about it when I was studying NLP. See what you think. Walt used three separate rooms with his teams for creating a Vision and a plan to make the Vision a reality. The Dream (Vision) room - in here the team would dream up new ideas and projects. In this space you can imagine as freely ...
by Una Hearne. A clear Vision gives you the direction to set off in. I have had countless clients come to me because they don't know what to do next. Typically they have five or ten perfectly legitimate options for their work or life and are stuck because they can't decide which is the 'right' one for them. This is because we cannot predict the future, there is no guarantees of success in any choice. Boo! I know, if only there was a guide. This is a modern problem to be sure, the ...
by Una Hearne. Once you know what you want it is very powerful to get that Vision out of your mind and into your environment in a way that will keep it real for you. Something to remind you every day of what you are moving towards. A clear Vision gives you direction, keeps you motivated and helps you make choices, among other things. Most importantly if you are in a situation you don't want it helps you to focus on what you do want instead. Vision boards are the usual suggestion for ...
by Una Hearne Spooky magic happens with written goals. I have experienced this with my own Vision and goals as well as with clients'. We write specific goals, descriptive, detailed and as fully fleshed out as possible. From houses to job descriptions, life partners to behaviour change with specific results. Vision after Vision, goal after goal has manifested in spooky detail. Not all goals mind you - but far more than you would expect by chance - enough to make it seem like magic. I like to understand things and I like to be ...
by Una Hearne. Ooooh, big subject for a little blog! How brave am I? :-) Onward... I believe spirituality is an aspect of being human, along with being physical, mental and emotional creatures. For me spirituality is defined by the question most of us ask at some point 'Why are we here?'. This question has never been answerable by human beings. Religions / ideologies are attempts to answer the question and they all do it with a different story or explanation of the meaning of life. There are estimated to be 4,200 religions currently ...
by Una Hearne. There are swamps of information and suggestions out there on goal setting so I'm not going to repeat the most common ones. I'm adding a few principles here which I have come to believe are essential. I hope they are helpful to you. You do NOT have to believe in yourself and your Vision to succeed. I know this isn't the party line in manifesting but I did not believe I could reach my Vision when I created it. After all, I was in the wrong job - which ...
by Una Hearne. 'They have it all' What exactly do we mean by this? What constitutes 'it all'? They have the money? Lifestyle? Family? Friends? Such nonsense. No one can have it all. It is not possible for one person to own everything in the world. Or to have all the relationships in the world. It is not possible for one person to have every career or adventure that it is now possible to have. No one is superwoman/superman. (They are cartoons not role models) (Also the outfit wouldn't work for everyone). So please ...
by Una Hearne. So why would you bother creating a Vision for yourself? Well, because that's the way to work with you brain. Consider this, how does a human being make anything happen? How do you get to work in the morning? How do people get married and have children? How do you operate your mobile phone? How did you eat your last meal? How do you put your socks on? How do you figure out what you want to do with your life? How do you find somewhere to live? Believe it or not ...
by Una Hearne. We are brought up to be deeply suspicious of day dreaming. Of imagining our future, of creating a vision for ourselves. We're told its all fanciful nonsense, we should get our heads out of the clouds and get on with real life. And yet, imagining what does not yet exist is one of the key characteristics of being human. If we didn't imagine and create we would still be living in caves. There would be no books, phones, cars or computers. Look around you, see all the things humans have invented, created ...
by Una Hearne. Forgive everybody - for everything. This is a quote from Iyanla Vanzant from her forgiveness course. (Excellent course, not for the faint hearted!) Forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons we have to learn in life. It is also one of the most rewarding to master. Here's what I've learned about forgiveness so far. What forgiveness is NOT: Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the other person (or people). It is for you, it gives you back your power, energy, peace of mind and freedom. Forgiving someone does not mean you are condoning ...
by Una Hearne. Keeping a gratitude journal is another of these deceptively simple practices which can have real and profound effects in your life. I've written and spoken many times about the importance of refocusing our attention from the negative to the positive. This is so that we balance our natural negative bias and also so that we focus our attention and effort on what we want to create in our lives, and not on what we don't want. Our thinking is mostly automatic. Awareness of what we are thinking and the ability to refocus, is ...
by Una Hearne Acceptance is the final stage of the process of coming to terms with major life events. The Grief Cycle (denial, anger, bargaining, depression/ grief, acceptance) is familiar to most of us and is a useful framework although we don't go through it in a nice linear organised way. We bounce around the different feelings until we somehow get through it. The reason acceptance is so important is that you cannot move forward without it, you can't get to a better place. If you can't face the reality of what has happened to ...
by Una Hearne. Continuing with simple practices to change your mindset, this one is about questioning your limiting beliefs. This is not about trying to live in a fantasy world where you believe in candy floss clouds and unicorns, although your welcome to if it helps. I'm talking here about believing the truth. Your truth. Taking your limiting beliefs and really examining them to see if they are true. If you are not sure what a limiting belief is or which ones you have, finish the following sentences. Don't think too much just note the first ...
by Una Hearne. The practices which improve your quality of life tend to be so simple we dismiss them. That's a pity since they can make a huge difference to our quality of life. Today, I'm going to suggest reframing as a practice. Your experience of life happens in your head. Your perception and interpretation of life is your reality. Now, some events and behaviour will trigger instant negative emotions in all of us - betrayal, bereavement, disappointment etc. These initial reactions and emotions are quite natural. They are not the majority of your life experience ...
by Una Hearne. For the rest of this year I will be re-running updated blogs. It's going to be a kind of course in happiness - focusing on mindset first and later in the year vision and action. So to kick us off - what is your most valuable asset? If you are thinking 'my house' 'my car' 'my cd collection' 'my rare 13th century whatjamacallit' I'll give you a moment to think again. Are we there yet? Good, well done, yes, it is you. Your brain, body, personality, abilities, experience and everything else that makes up ...
by Una Hearne. Will ye give over ye lunatics, you can't change other people. Stop that nonsense. I seem to be seeing a lot of people in misery at the moment because of what others have said or done. Most of their stress is because they think the other person 'should' behave or think the way they do themselves. Here's the problem with that - everyone's mind and experience are unique. Have you ever met a person who genuinely thinks exactly like you? In every situation? About every issue? Of course you haven't. Other ...
by Una Hearne. Ooooh, big subject for a little blog! How brave am I? :-) Onward... I believe spirituality is an aspect of being human, along with being physical, mental and emotional creatures. For me spirituality is defined by the question most of us ask at some point 'Why are we here?'. This question has never been answerable by human beings. Nobody knows for certain. Religions / ideologies are attempts to answer the question and they all do it with a different story or explanation of the meaning of life. There are estimated to ...
by Una Hearne. We are all mad you know. Humans. We criticise ourselves in our own heads all day long. And then we wonder why we lack confidence or self-esteem. We shame ourselves in a similar way and wonder why we are not happy yet. Insanity. I believe - just my opinion - we have the right to be confident and happy most of the time. I can't see the value in making our lives more miserable than they need to be by playing negative tapes in our minds all day. I do ...
by Una Hearne. It is a seriously bad idea to label yourself with a 'weakness' and then carry that as if it is who you really are. 'My problem is I always/ I never...' 'I am a terrible...' As if the way you think and behave is fixed in every situation and for life. The specific problem with viewing characteristics as strengths or weaknesses is this: every strength can be a weakness and every weakness can be a strength. It totally depends on the situation. For example you might be sensitive and see ...
by Una Hearne. Those of us blessed (Eh?*!?*!?) with a chronic illness are forced to develop a high level of expertise in budgeting our very limited energy. But it's not just we who need these skills is it? It's you too. Not even the highest energy people can do everything they want to nowadays. There are endless possibilities in work, home, social life, leisure, study, travel, etc. No one can fit into one lifetime everything that is available to do. Does your life feel in balance? Do you experience peace and happiness every ...
by Una Hearne. With our relative wealth and health in the developed world, we should all be happy and fulfilled, right? But no, we are increasingly stressed and anxious. Why? Why are we dealing with increasing levels of mental and physical illness? What is going on in our society that is so toxic to us? Given that different things stress different people in different ways, it is notoriously difficult to research stress and how it relates to health. Yet we all know stress can be the killer ingredient in any illness. I have much ...
by Una Hearne. May is M.E. awareness month so I'm writing this to raise awareness of what it's like to live with. Living with any chronic illness is different for each person - this is my personal story. Please note I am not looking for sympathy, I believe everyone has sh*t to deal with in life, this is just my sh*t. :-) And I'll explain the picture at the end... History I have had M.E. since a bout of Glandular Fever (Mono) age 16, I'm now 55. Historically M.E. has been dismissed as a ...
by Una Hearne. 7.8 billion and rising. That's a lot of people - and still you are unique. There never was and never will be another you. Each and every person brings unique gifts to the world. Many gifts. They might be things you do, talents you share or simply who you are as a person - the energy you bring. Whatever gifts you bring, your job in life is to be the best and wildest expression of your unique spirit. This is your work of art. You know when you are doing it ...
by Una Hearne. Covid 19 doesn't respect country borders, it uses humans to travel across the world freely. Nothing in nature recognises human borders. The air and water we depend on circulate around the entire planet. The destruction of our environment is not contained within country borders, in either cause or effect. Nature will not discriminate in its response. Our actions could be ensuring our own extinction. Chief Seattle said 'Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. Man does not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand ...
by Una Hearne. So my latest craft supplies arrived and I decided to experiment with my new invisible thread (it's like a fine fishing line). I went to thread the needle and discovered the problem with invisible thread... :-) Playtime is not just for children. As adults we think we must give up childish things when we take on the responsibilities of life. Nothing could be further from the truth. Playtime is time spent doing something you enjoy and is not work to you. Sometimes we do have it in our lives - we just don't call it play. Sports, running and walking are all ...
by Una Hearne. You'll have heard of it by now - Long Covid. It is not being called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME or CFS) yet but the similarities are alarming. Long Covid is being taken seriously by some doctors but unfortunately not all. There are even medical professionals with this illness facing the same scepticism - from their own colleagues - which people with ME/CFS have faced for decades. Centuries actually. The whole issue with ME/CFS scepticism is the historic assumption that any illness unknown to medicine at that particular time ...
by Una Hearne. Love yourself unconditionally - you are fabulous. Trust your inner wisdom. You always know what is best for you. You, as an individual, and the society you live in are equally important to your quality of life. Balance your choices accordingly. Treasure the people you love. Including yourself. Listen well and speak your truth. Be kind to everyone. Especially yourself. Forgive everyone - for everything. Especially yourself. Look for the gifts in every experience, especially bad experiences. Appreciate everything you have. You have a lot. Keep your environment ...
by Una Hearne. How much of your time and energy do you waste worrying about what other people think of you? Do you agonise over everyday decisions, trying to make the 'right' choice, so other people will approve? If somebody criticises your choice, does that ruin it? Do you need approval from other people before you can feel good about yourself? In other words are you giving other people the power to make you feel good or bad? Just let that sink in if you need to. Other people do not have power over ...
by Una Hearne. This blog was supposed to go out back in March - obviously events overtook that plan! But it's relevant now as we settle in to our second lockdown. The point of this blog is that we need to make sure we have good times. A lot of our life needs to be routine, to get the day to day stuff done without too much thinking about it. But if it's all routine, time passes in a flash. Years and decades condense into one blurred grey memory. The good memories you have from ...
by Una Hearne. We naturally compare ourselves to others as a way of monitoring how we are doing in life. It's tricky though - there is a difference between a general sanity check and beating ourselves up for not being as good, successful, thin, fit or rich as the next person. It is a terribly destructive habit to compare one aspect of your life to one aspect of another person's life. It is madness to feel you are lacking because you don't have this hair, that job or the other relationship. You can't ...
by Una Hearne. So I've been thinking about how the world has had to adapt to significant changes and losses because of Covid and how I came to terms over the past three years with changes and losses because of ME/CFS. Happy to report I am now at the point where I am at peace with ME/CFS. Not saying anyone else should be or needs to be. Just that I needed to get to this point, to stop losing energy in resentment and sadness. How I would love to report that it was a swift and peaceful process. That I gracefully accepted my new ...
by Una Hearne. So I have this friend Mary and if I listed all the challenges she has faced in life so far - well the truth is you wouldn't believe me. You would think it was a rejected soap opera script, you'd probably start a go-fund-me page for her. Her attitude, humour and fortitude are a constant inspiration. In the early days of our now 25 year friendship we fell into a common trap - of automatically comparing our problems. As if in competition to be the most understanding. We said things like: ...
by Una Hearne. Control Freakery is the attempt to make the world work and other people behave the way we think they should. As a recovering control freak - I get it. I really do. It would be so much better if everyone acted in a rational and civilised way. What drives control freakery is fear. Plain and simple. Fear of what will happen when it all goes wrong. Or more accurately (as Susan Jeffers explains in the best book ever written on fear 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'): All fear boils ...
by Una Hearne. Isn't it wonderful when you are on the very edge of your last nerve and someone tells you to 'Relax' or 'Calm down'. So helpful. So we all know the feeling of stress. Covid-19 has raised the stress level of the entire human race all at once. That's never happened before. We are past the initial high stress of shock and we are now dealing with a lower level, but ongoing stress. Stress shows up mentally/emotionally as anxiety and/or depression and/or anger. If stress continues it will show up in our ...
by Una Hearne. And so the world went quiet. We heard the birds again. We noticed nature again. The air was clean. The people came out for walks. There was an explosion of creativity and kindness. People pulled together. Suddenly we had time to think. We discovered how little shopping we actually need to do. Irish people discovered that life continues even when every pub is shut. Who knew? And who knew a frantic pace of life isn't necessary? (I am acutely aware that this does not include the people on the frontline, busier ...
by Una Hearne. Welcome to the world of self-isolation everyone! Most of us with chronic illnesses have lived for years in partial or total self-isolation, so I thought I'd share some random tips and thoughts to help you in this new adventure. First, for your mental health, accept this new situation totally as it is right now. Decide to learn to become comfortable with uncertainty. These are daily practices and not one-off decisions. The sooner you get these down, the less energy you will waste in resistance and worry, neither of which help ...
by Una Hearne. Ok, Ok, I do advocate and practice positive thinking. But - and it's a big butt - there is an extreme end of this positive thinking lark that really gets my goat. It's explicit in the book 'The Secret' and appears in many other books and courses. It's this idea that if you banish all negative thoughts from your mind - never allow one in even for a second - then you can manifest anything you want including perfect health. For example a quote: "When a person has manifested a disease ...
by Una Hearne Too late? You did? How's that working for you? You probably know by now they don't usually work. And then they make you feel bad about yourself. What a terrible way to start a new year. Here's a better idea. Get yourself a cuppa, a notebook and snuggle up in your favourite chair. Now: Write down all the brilliant things you did and that happened to you last year. Ok I know, you immediately think of all the bad things that happened and failures. Don't worry this is normal. You can't not ...
by Una Hearne. One Christmas, many years ago when a friend of mine was a boy, let's call him Freddy (since that's his name). Freddy lived in Ballyfermot with his family. They were poor, properly poor, and the St Vincent de Paul sometimes helped them out. That particular Christmas there was no money for presents and the kids knew it. Freddy, being the oldest, felt bad for all of them. On the day, the VdeP arrived at the door with a present for each child. Freddy was amazed. He thought about somebody ...
by Una Hearne. I love the idea of 'Tribe'. It's as relevant today as it was when there was only a few thousand of us on the planet. Tribe matters. We need to belong to other people. It's built into our DNA and it protects us. Tribe used to be relatively simple - it was the extended family you were born into and only changed if maybe you left and joined another tribe. It's a little more complex in the modern world. For a start, we are packed into cities and towns, rarely isolated ...
by Una Hearne. So many people indulge in self-beating. It breaks my heart. We do it naturally because we have a conscience (the purpose of which is to help us avoid harming others and to live peacefully together!?). However we are not meant to beat ourselves up all day every day. It not only hurts us and undermines our self-worth, it also depletes us and means we have less to offer the world. Over the years I have noticed various levels of self-beating and I'm setting out the qualification structure here so ...
by Una Hearne. So, if there are no good or bad events, just life events and the labels we give them, am I at the point where I can honestly say I'm grateful for having ME/CFS? Hmmmmmm. Obviously the fact that it has taken my ability to do the work I want, my social life, hobbies, holidays... OK that's all a bit crap. It would be understandable to wallow in misery, but that's not a life I want either. Since I believe our super power is our ability to choose our thoughts, it ...
