Una’s Blog

24
Feb

by Una Hearne. 'IT'S NOT FAIR!' 'IT SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!!'  You wouldn't blame me for thinking this since I am currently obliged to spend 20 hours a day lying down and I can only do a fraction of the things I want to. I wouldn't blame you for thinking the same about problems you might be facing: money, work, health or relationships ('THEY SHOULDN'T BE TREATING ME THIS WAY!') Understandable thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, this is called resistance. Resistance to the reality you find yourself in. It's the opposite of ...

24
Jan

by Una Hearne. You know when the train of your life derails and you are picking your way through the wreckage, trying to figure out what happens next? Welcome to Una's little world 2018! I started Una's Little World blog in February 2015 to share the story of turning Visions (goals/ dreams/ plans) into reality, using examples from my own life. It has only been available to email subscribers up till now, but I'm making it my main blog this year so it will be available publicly as well. It has been great sharing successful visions. ...

24
Dec

88 The biggest mistake in job hunting

by Una Hearne. So many clients, so many times I've heard 'I don't have time to figure out my Vision, I need a job NOW!!' People in terrible jobs, desperate to move on, people not working and panicking about getting any job. I totally understand this thinking - been there myself.  A few times. The problem with this thinking is it leads to slow progress and is very often unsuccessful. It seems counter intuitive, but putting the time and effort into identifying clearly what you actually want is a much faster and more successful way to get into ...

24
Nov

87 Judge much?

by Una Hearne. Judging and criticising other people comes from deep insecurity about ourselves. Now, I'm not talking about judging people appropriately for violence or abuse, that's a different matter. I'm talking about judging and criticising others for stuff that's none of our business to judge them for. For example: their opinions; thoughts; looks; habits; choices; background; actions... Ringing any bells? I noticed this with a group of mothers recently. I'm not picking on mothers, it's an example of something which is rampant across all our lives. So this group of moms discussed every aspect of child rearing and what their ...

24
Oct

86 What doesn’t matter?

by Una Hearne. How much money you have. How many friends you have in reality, or on facebook. Failure. Success. Your qualifications or experience. Your children's achievements. What you look like. How nice your home or your car is. What other people think of you. How long it takes you to do anything. Whether you are in love and/or have a partner. Your holidays. Your work. The state of your health. How many obstacles your perceive and overcome. Your level of confidence and self belief. Whether you have a dream and whether it manifests. I could go on...   Are you arguing with me in your head? Have I upset you? Excellent, read ...

24
Sep

85 Forgive everybody – for everything

by Una Hearne. The title is a quote from Iyanla Vanzant from her forgiveness course. (Excellent course, not for the faint hearted! Available through www.oprah.com). Forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons we have to learn in life. It is also one of the most rewarding to master. Here's what I've learned about forgiveness so far: Forgiveness IS NOT for the benefit of the other person (or people). It is for you, it gives you back your power, energy, peace of mind and freedom. Forgiving someone does NOT mean you are condoning or endorsing their behaviour in ...

24
Jul

84 Can you have it all?

by Una Hearne. Well... NO! Sorry, but we have to stop this nonsense. Superwoman and Superman are cartoons not role models. The fact is, it is not possible for one person, certainly in the developed world, to avail of all the opportunities, to do and have everything potentially available to them. We have such a range of choice and opportunity now, we can study anything, set up our personal lives any way we want, have multiple careers, indulge in a huge variety of leisure interests, volunteer in any number of roles... It's fantastic and not ...

24
Jun

83 There’s nothing wrong with money

by Una Hearne. Our beliefs about money and ourselves are reflected in the state of our finances. Our abilities to earn, spend and save. (Oh no!!!) A large part of our belief system comes from the family and culture we were brought up in. We will often follow patterns that we have experienced around us (or rebel and do the opposite). For example, if you believe rich people are inherently bad or horrible people, you will subconsciously prevent yourself from becoming one of them. On the other hand, if you believe poor people are ...

24
May

82 The half life of facts

by Una Hearne. On a rerun of the sublime TV show QI  (don't you just love Stephen Fry and Alan Davies?) they were talking about the 'half life of facts'. That is, how half of the 'facts' that medical students learn in college will be considered to be untrue in 10 or 12 years time. And how facts given on QI itself are just as subject to contrary proof over time. We like to think that scientific facts are in fact, facts - and to some extent they are - but they are constantly changing ...

24
Apr

81 How to set good boundaries

by Una Hearne. Setting good boundaries with other people is about honouring yourself - recognising you are as valuable and worthy as everyone else. Are you the type who always says yes - likes to do anything for anyone? We are hardwired to help each other - survival and flourishing for humans has always meant collaborating. Wanting to help and support others is a wonderful impulse and is good for everyone. When we help others we feel great, right up to the point where it is inappropriate or is taking too much from us. Then we feel ...

24
Mar

80 Job hunting and running a business

by Una Hearne. With the disappearance of most permanent, or at any rate, life long jobs, many more people are having to come to terms with job hunting on a regular basis. I've been coaching people for 8 years, job hunters and entrepreneurs amongst others. The similarities between the process of getting a job and running a business are interesting. What do you think?   You have to know yourself and your product/service/offering inside out. People buy you as much as what you are offering. They want to know how you can make their life better. ...

24
Feb

79 Mind reading much?

by Una Hearne. So many people still assume that everyone that other people experience life in much the same way they do, thinks like they do, and feels the same as they do. Couldn't be more wrong really. We each sense, interpret and experience the world in a completely unique way. When other people say or do something in a way we wouldn't have, we are shocked! They appear to be some kind of alien. "How can you say that?" "Why would anyone do that?" I am very fond of saying 'Other people are aliens. And. ...

24
Jan

78 Not living the dream yet?

by Una Hearne. So, if you know my work, you'll know it's all about living our best lives. I'm all about re-connecting with who you really are and what you really want. And making Visions and plans to create the best life you can experience. I also talk a lot about gratitude, about being grateful for everything we already have. I am sometimes asked if this is a contradiction "If I'm happy now, won't I just sit back and not bother doing anything else?" As if unhappiness is the only motivator for doing anything! Unhappiness ...

24
Dec

by Una Hearne In many of my talks and workshops I deal with the idea of being able to speak positively and confidently about yourself. I talk about building real inner confidence to make this possible. At some point I am always asked if this isn't arrogance or won't it seem like arrogance. Well no, it's not. There is a massive difference. Real confidence in yourself is based on understanding the truth of how fabulous you really are (You are, I've checked). The confusion between arrogance and confidence arises because some insecure people - who are ...

24
Nov

76 Of course you know about business finance!

by Una Hearne. Ok, so if you want to start your own small business but you think the whole financial side is beyond you... listen up! For the vast majority of you reading this - it is not beyond you. Most small business owners are not natural accountants and don't like the figures. However, it is essential you understand the figures in your business. You can delegate the work if you can afford it, but you still must understand what is going on with the numbers - ignorance can be bliss but can also lose ...

24
Oct

75 Who are you, now?

by Una Hearne. Who are you? Right now, today? This is a core question in personal development. The foundation of all coaching is who are you and what do you want? Self knowledge and awareness grounds you. To know who you are and what you stand for means that in turbulent times you can navigate your life with confidence. It means in the midst of chaos you can make the best choices for yourself. Everyone experiences times of success and times of turbulence. Those who know and love themselves fare better, they adapt more easily ...

24
Sep

74 How do you compare?

by Una Hearne. It is in our nature as human beings, to compare ourselves to other people. We live in relation to others. Observing how other people behave, what they have and what they achieve can galvanise us into learning, action and achievement for our own benefit. For example we can be influenced by another person's character and develop our own kindness, leadership, professionalism etc. Or we can be motivated to go out and get something we see other people have or to try new things. When we are inspired by comparison to improve our own quality ...

24
Aug

by Una Hearne. In Jill Bolte Taylor's book My Stroke of Insight she talks about the importance of being aware of the energy you bring to patients in hospital. "I realised the some people brought me energy while others took it away. One nurse was very attentive to my needs: Was I warm enough? Did I need water? Was I in pain? Naturally, I felt safe in her care. She made eye contact and was clearly providing me with a healing space. A different nurse, who never made eye contact... This woman brought me a tray with milk ...

24
Jul

72 Volunteering and other experience

by Una Hearne. Are you looking for work and finding the search frustrating? Are you searching for your purpose or passion? Volunteering could be a good way to use some of your time as part of your search strategy. Here are a few reasons it might work for you:   You can get relevant experience in an area you are interested in. If you are particularly interested in a few specific organisations and you can get a volunteer position (or internship) you could get a really good feel for the organisations - culture, work, people and find out if ...

24
Jun

71 How you spend your time

by Una Hearne. Here's a fabulous and ... well, potentially horrifying, exercise you can do to check out the choices you are making for yourself on a daily basis. Before you dismiss the idea, trust me, it's worth the horror as it brings awareness and gives you the power to make better choices for yourself. It's simple (I do like simple things!) - Record what you do every hour of your day for at least a week - better still for a month. Literally every hour, or even half hour if that makes more sense in your ...

24
May

70 Gratitude journal

by Una Hearne. Keeping a gratitude journal is one of those deceptively simple practices which can have real and profound effects in your life. I've written and spoken many times about the importance of refocusing our attention from the negative to the positive. This is so that we balance our natural negative bias and also so that we focus our attention and effort on what we want to create in our lives, and not on what we don't want. The reason it's important to think of it as a practice is that it needs to be a ...

24
Apr

69 Fear and anxiety – dear old friends!

by Una Hearne. Just because you feel fearful or anxious does not mean there is anything to be afraid of. Fear is our natural reaction to a variety of things and its purpose is to protect us from harm. Our fight, flight, freeze response kicks in if we sense any kind of threat and it kicks in before conscious thought. In many situations fear, or at least an awareness of danger, is a good thing - think standing on the edge of a cliff, crossing a busy road, dark alleys at night, telling your significant ...

24
Mar

68 Kissing Frogs

by Una Hearne. When you set out to do something new in life - to find and start a new job, set up a business, move to a new place, find new friends - you will be meeting new people and trying to connect. You will experience rejection along the way. Quite naturally, this is a difficult thing for us to handle. The two most basic drivers for human beings are - two sides of the same coin - 1) Desire for acceptance and 2) Fear rejection. It is easy to understand why it is ...

24
Feb

67 Coaching – Why now?

by Una Hearne. There's no denying our lives are getting more complex. This is what happens as societies develop, and technology has increased the pace of change for us to a rate, I for one, can't quite keep up with. We have more choice and opportunity than ever before. We can study anything we like, at any time of our lives. We can have multiple careers, live or travel in different countries, set up new types of business, organise our personal lives in any way we want, have a multitude of pursuits and interests and ...

24
Jan

Announcement

Hi all, Regular readers may have noticed a larger gap between the last two blogs, apologies for the delay in this notice! I am moving to one blog per month from now on and they will be published on the 24th of every month - so won't always be a Thursday as they have been. January's blog went out a little early (truth be told, before I had done the final draft - morto!!) Here's my answer to myself on that one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVw5e6EYFUg Remember if you are signed up to receive my blog you won't necessarily be on my main mailing list which ...

18
Jan

66 An everyday hero is harder to be

by Una Hearne. In one sense it's easy to be a hero in a war - just turn up. (No, I'm not saying war is easy I'm saying in an emergency doing anything makes you a hero automatically!) It's a lot harder to feel like a hero if your life seems ordinary to you. This is not because you are not a hero, this is simply because we don't give medals to ordinary people or celebrate our ordinary lives. Being an everyday hero often means not being noticed, or being taken for granted - by ourselves ...

18
Dec

65 Time to reflect and dream

by Una Hearne. It is my practice between Christmas and new year to take a few days out just for myself. No work, no socialising. Just quiet reflective time. I reflect on the past year, where I'm at and what I want next year. It's one of my favourite times of the year. We often only check in with ourselves and take stock of our lives when something goes wrong or we are unhappy with the situation we are in. That's fair enough, but it actually makes more sense to check in occasionally when things are going ...

04
Dec

64 Selling yourself

by Una Hearne. 'Selling yourself' is a phrase I dislike. I used it because it will accurately indicate to most of you what the subject matter of this blog is. I want to talk about how we communicate who we are, what we have to offer and what we want. This is something we have to do in most areas of our lives, for example in job hunting, running a business, raising our profile, socialising and relationships. I dislike the phrase 'selling yourself' because of course you are not. You may be selling your time, the ...

20
Nov

63 Core beliefs

by Una Hearne. There are things that you believe to be true - about yourself, other people and the world. These are core beliefs, not objective truths that are the same for everyone, but beliefs masquerading as the truth. Core beliefs are the deeply rooted ones which, until you become aware of them, you don't even know you have. You can hear them in things we say: 'That's just the way it is' 'I am like that' 'I always... I never...' 'People are like that.' If our perceptions were objectively, verifiably, true, we would all have the same ...

06
Nov

by Una Hearne. So here I am sticking my neck out. Publicly. I am in business officially two years and my first business plan didn't work. I made very little money and had to borrow to keep going and try the next plan. I have invested over 200k in education and sacrificed earnings in the past 10 years at a rough guess. I've invested many thousands of hours in my learning, development and my work. I'm earning now but it's not quite sustainable yet. I could run out of money. This kind of financial uncertainty unnerves me ...

23
Oct

61 Mindfulness

by Una Hearne. I was hearing a lot about mindfulness and being in the moment recently and I began to think about how it applies to my life. I do experience being fully present in my work. When I am coaching someone, training or writing I find my full focus is on what is going on, the rest of the world could fall around me and I wouldn't notice I am so absorbed. Time disappears and I never want to be anywhere other than where I am right then. I don't really experience that any other time except maybe when I ...

09
Oct

60 Networking tips – getting started

by Una Hearne Going to an event with the intention of meeting and talking to new people. It's like a lot of other experiences - new job, new city, new school, new business, - situations where we need to meet new people and make connections. For some people this is extreme fun and for others a big scary nightmare. Most of us land somewhere in between. One of the reasons it is scary is because there are two fundamental drivers for human beings 1) The fear of rejection 2) The need for acceptance. So if you are in ...

25
Sep

59 One way to build your confidence

by Una Hearne. You can build your own deep-seated, unshakeable, authentic confidence with a very simple daily practice:  Acknowledge everything brilliant you do, every success, every step, no matter how small. Simple! Well, if we could remember to do it, it would be! So this is a reminder. Please bear in mind I am not saying ignore mistakes or areas you can improve. This is good valuable stuff but becomes destructive if it is all you ever focus on, or even if you focus on the negative more than the positive. Human beings build on success - ...

11
Sep

by Una Hearne. What if you just don't know what you want? What if you're not sure who you really are? Lots of people will say you need to know the answers but then can't tell you how to figure it all out. These are key questions, you can't go after what you want if you don't know what that is. And you can't know what you really want if you don't know who you are and what makes you happy. I specialise in this area because I could never resist the big questions. I have developed ...

28
Aug

57 Meditation – time out for you

by Una Hearne. Do you take regular time out just for yourself? We all need quiet time to ourselves. The length of time we each need varies a lot. This doesn't matter, it's the quality of time and what it does for you that matters. It also doesn't matter how you do it, what your ritual or practice is. It's just being quiet. Still. Stop. Allow your thoughts to settle. Or think something through, free from distraction. Or just breathe and be. Meditation is a special form of time out. It can be incredibly powerful and even blissful. It ...

14
Aug

56 Them and us

by Una Hearne. Boss vs staff. Employee vs employer. Why is it so hard for people to work together in harmony? We depend upon each other and yet we often end up treating each other as enemies. This is such an age old question and so much horseshit has been written and said about it that I hesitate to add to it. Hesitate yes, but of course still going to go right ahead and add my tuppence worth! Here's an example of being the boss setting up a business. You set up a company. You want to earn ...

31
Jul

55 You cannot diagnose a person

by Una Hearne. The reason I have avoided using psychometric tools in coaching and personal development is that I actually believe people know more about themselves than any tools or other people can tell them. Radical concept I know! Good quality personality profiling tools like DISC or Myers Briggs are ok and can provide some insight. However they are most useful in demonstrating that individuals are different (no kidding!) and equal. Not right or wrong, just different. This realisation is essential for us to understand each other and to work and live successfully together. The problem with ...

17
Jul

54 How our brains work!

by Una Hearne. How does any human being make anything happen? How do you get to work in the morning? How do people get married and have children? How do you operate your mobile phone? How did you eat your last meal? How do you put your socks on? How do you figure out what you want to do with your life? Believe it or not the unconscious process by which you make anything happen works in the same way for every one of these things: You decide what you want You plan how you will make it happen You ...

10
Jul

53 Fitting exercise into your life

by Una Hearne. Yes, lovely friend Sinead, this is rich, coming from me! :-)  However, ploughing on... We all know we should. We all want the health benefits. Most of us find it hard to integrate exercise into our lives. To those of you who do, good for you, it does take effort. We often forget that people who keep in shape are making a choice and doing the work. We say things to make excuses for ourselves, 'It's easy for them!' 'They enjoy it' 'They were born skinny!' as if we are exempt because it's not for us, we ...

26
Jun

52 Starting a business the easy way!

by Una Hearne. Flagrant use of attention grabbing title. Apologies. Of course there is no easy way. I am good at asking people for advice and help. So when I started my business I found successful clever people and asked their advice. Let me tell you what I have learned about setting up a business:   There are a few standard things everyone tells you - and they are right: Do a business plan; Understand the money and keep the accounts straight; pay your taxes correctly; Make sure you know what you need to about the law ...

12
Jun

by Una Hearne. In the world today, we have to adapt and change as never before in human history. Most of us experience multiple career changes and experience times of wealth and scarcity. Many of us live in multiple countries during our lives, have more than one marriage-type relationship and move house several times. We can study a huge variety of subjects, choose from a wide variety of work and organise our personal lives to suit ourselves. There is more opportunity and choice available to us than ever before and this is clearly fantastic. However, along with this choice and complexity ...

29
May

50 Failure

by Una Hearne. Some definitions: Non performance of something due, required or expected Subnormal quantity or quality (of crops for example) Non functioning (of machine for example) Unsuccessful person or thing. Ok, I can accept a human being can fail to do something. I can see a crop can fail and I get that a machine can fail to work. And I know there is a feeling of failure when something does not work out the way you planned - I've felt that! (Of course a feeling is a feeling, not a fact.) But the more I examine failure in relation ...

15
May

49 Intention

by Una Hearne. If you knew for certain that something you were going to do or say would make someone's life better, you'd just go ahead and do it - right? What if you knew for a fact that smiling at the person on the checkout would make them feel better, would you spare them a smile? If telling someone how great they are gave them the courage to go and do something brave and brilliant, would you choose to tell them? If you knew you were influencing a child, just by the way you live and what you say, ...

01
May

48 Internships – sink or swim?

by Una Hearne. Interning should be a part of the structure of the world of work. It goes without saying that it should be ethical, worthwhile for everyone involved and fair. It is a risk for a company to take on a permanent employee because if it doesn't work out it costs the company a lot of money. A certain amount of risk is inevitable in any business but too much risk, especially in the high cost area of people, can push a company out of business. And that's not generally good for ...

17
Apr

47 Confidence

by Una Hearne. This is one of the most common issues clients bring to me. For some it is the main issue, for some a side issue and for others - those who see it as a weakness - it is often a hidden issue. All of my clients gain confidence, it is a natural by-product of the coaching process, even when it isn't the focus. I've noticed a few things about confidence over the years and, as usual, I offer my thoughts to stimulate your own. Most people who lack confidence feel they are ...

03
Apr

46 Why are you procrastinating?

by Una Hearne. 'You just need a bit of will power'. Common cry. Well, what if I'm no good at will power? And I can assure you, I'm not. What then? Will power, at best, only works for short periods of time. It is only useful in that couple of seconds when you are choosing between immediate temptation and long term benefit. While it can be useful to help you make the right choice or get you back on track when distracted, will power is not a sustainable or reliable force over time and it takes ...

20
Mar

45 My reality, Your reality

by Una Hearne. Your perception is your reality. There is no such thing as objective 'reality' All of our experience of life happens in our minds. We take in information about the world, other people and events through our senses. This information is filtered by our brains. We make sense of it through the unique lense of our individual values, beliefs and experiences. This is why the same event can mean totally different things to different people and provoke very different feelings. For example, redundancy or business closure is interpreted by some people as a ...

06
Mar

44 Job security

by Una Hearne. We say 'contracting' and 'permanent job' meaning different things. But a permanent job these days is something we see lasting maybe 3 - 7 years. Most people don't set out looking for a job for life. So aren't permanent jobs and contracts becoming very similar? The only obvious difference is maybe benefits, holiday and sick pay, pension etc. And this is why contractors/consultants are supposed to charge higher daily rates, as they have to provide for all of these for themselves. All things considered it seems a smart approach to work ...

20
Feb

43 Time management

by Una Hearne. A lot of time management courses are rubbish because they don't establish the most important principle before they show you their techniques and tools. Here's the most important principle: You need to know what is important to you, what really matters in your life, in order to choose wisely what you spend your time on. You have a finite amount of time in your life. You don't know how long you have. You can't 'make' any more time. The power and control you have in this area is in how you choose to use the ...

06
Feb

42 The secret of planning

by Una Hearne. There are thousands of planning theories, methods, models and templates. And there is one very good reason why no particular way of planning works for everyone - human beings are not robots. Most of the theories, methods, models and templates have merit and will work for some people. Usually people who are like the person that designed that particular way of planning. There are basics that need to be in any plan and the more people involved in implementing a plan, the simpler and clearer it needs to be. Everyone involved ...