Una's Blog

by Una Hearne.

Well… NO!

Sorry, but we have to stop this nonsense. Superwoman and Superman are cartoons not role models. The fact is, it is not possible for one person, certainly in the developed world, to avail of all the opportunities, to do and have everything potentially available to them.

We have such a range of choice and opportunity now, we can study anything, set up our personal lives any way we want, have multiple careers, indulge in a huge variety of leisure interests, volunteer in any number of roles… It’s fantastic and not a little overwhelming when you think about it. However, there is only one of you and no matter how much energy and time you have you couldn’t possible experience everything. So ‘Can we have it all?’ is a nonsensical question.

And anyway, what do we mean by ‘having it all’? We use this generalisation as a vague catch all for having work we love, a great home, family, lifestyle etc. And somehow a very large number of people have got drawn into the idea that there is some ideal life we all aspire to. We get drawn into comparing with the people around us and when we see our neighbour get a bigger car, or their child gets a higher qualification than ours or they go on a more exotic holiday, we somehow think that is something we should have. We find ourselves on an endless quest for more and better… but not more life and better life according to our own hearts, just some meaningless more and better based on what other people have. (See blog 74 for good and bad comparison to others).

There are far more useful questions than ‘Can we have it all?’ to build your life around. Like: What does having it all mean to me? What will make me feel fulfilled? Happy? Wealthy? Lucky? Connected? Loved and loving? Vital and healthy?

It comes down, in the end, to what you think is the point of your life. Is it chasing a lot of things you think you should have? You can effectively fill every moment of your life doing that and never actually enjoy it or feel like you are really living. Is it impressing the neighbours, trying to be better than others or trying to fulfil your parents dreams for you? If the answer to those questions is honestly yes, then by all means go ahead and do that.

If you want to live an authentic, fulfilled, rich life that honours the perfect spirit you are (it’s ok, you are, I checked) then here’s a few more really good questions:

• What really matters to you?
• What is important about how you choose to live your life?
• What do you love to do, be and have?
• What actually makes you feel deeply happy, fulfilled and connected?
• What do you want your life to have been about?

There are no right or wrong answers, there is only what is truly right for you. And you are the only person who can answer those questions for yourself. I wish you every happiness and success in life.

 

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