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24
Dec

Happiness 22. Time to reflect and dream

by Una Hearne. *Little announcement – I’m taking a break from blogging for the next few months as there is too much other stuff going on – I’ll be back!       It is my practice between Christmas and New Year to take some time out just for myself. Simple quiet reflective time. I reflect on the past year, where I'm at and what I want next year. It's one of my favourite times of the year. We often only check in with ourselves and take stock of our lives when something goes wrong or we are ...

24
Nov

by Una Hearne. The immediate results of any one action are usually fairly predictable. Think of putting your glass back on the table after drinking, usually this results in the glass being on the table. It generally doesn't leap off the table or turn into a cow. However, even a little complexity very quickly makes results unpredictable. For example, if I drive to the next town, which route will be quicker? This depends on the traffic, traffic lights, other people's driving and many other things not in my control. I have to take ...

24
Oct

Happiness 20. Motivation – Set up for success

        by Una Hearne There are only two reasons human beings will take action: We enjoy the activity - say eating chocolate for example. We really, really want the outcome - say exercising or cleaning the house. Clearly there is no problem with motivation when we enjoy the activity. And I know a lot of you would put exercising in the first category above, I can hear you shouting :-). What we enjoy is, of course, different for everyone. So how do we make sure the things we are less enthusiastic about doing get done? ...

24
Sep

Happiness 19. Goals you should definitely not set

by Una Hearne. This is yet another tricky area. You cannot set goals for yourself where you are not in control of the actions or changes needed. For example, you can't set a goal for a specific person to fall in love with you - you have no influence over their true feelings. You cannot set a goal like getting a specific job, you are not the decision maker. Setting a goal to win the lotto is also not realistic, even if you take the action of buying the ticket, the chances of winning ...

24
Aug

Happiness 18. Planning – Ideas and Creativity

by Una Hearne. When I ran my three day 'Designing Your Future' (TM) course the middle day was all about planning and goals. We talked about goal setting in the morning and how the size of goals and words you use, need to be right for you. In the afternoon we made plans. The extraordinary thing was that although over 100 people have done the course in total, no two plans looked alike. When you give yourself permission to do it your way you create something unique - and it is what will work ...

24
Jul

Happiness 17 Where happiness comes from

by Una Hearne. This is another tricky area in the manifesting of Visions (goals, dreams, plans, aims - whatever your having yourself). Happiness is far more about your internal world than external circumstances. If it was about external circumstances then everyone who has the things you think you need to be happy would be deliriously happy. Right? Yet they are often miserable. So the idea 'I'll be happy when I have - {insert desire here} - is a trap. But hang on Una, isn't that the whole reason we create Visions? To make ourselves happy? Yes ...

24
Jun

Happiness 16. Planning and reality

by Una Hearne. Making a plan is a reality test in a sense. Obviously the real test will be when you take the action but planning can save lots of heartache. You can anticipate obstacles and be ready for them while your neck is not actually on the line so to speak. Planning is simply exploring on paper. There will be plenty of obstacles you don't anticipate, but at least this way you will be more prepared and confident. Like Walt Disney in the April blog it is useful to adopt the mindset ...

24
May

Happiness 15. The secret of planning

by Una Hearne. Of course there's no secret! If there were you wouldn't find so many different theories, methods, models and templates. Here's why - our minds work differently. Uniquely as it happens, so there couldn't be one way that would work for everyone. Most of the methods you find will work for some people and there are a few popular methods which work for the majority to some degree. The more people involved in implementing a plan - in business for example - the simpler and clearer the plan has to be to ...

24
Apr

Happiness 14. What Walt Disney Knew

by Una Hearne. Walt was successful, right? He had big dreams and created beloved movies and theme parks, innovating all the time. His method was modelled by Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) expert, Robert Dilts and I learned about it when I was studying NLP. See what you think. Walt used three separate rooms with his teams for creating a Vision and a plan to make the Vision a reality. The Dream (Vision) room - in here the team would dream up new ideas and projects. In this space you can imagine as freely ...

24
Mar

A Vision gives you the direction

by Una Hearne. A clear Vision gives you the direction to set off in. I have had countless clients come to me because they don't know what to do next. Typically they have five or ten perfectly legitimate options for their work or life and are stuck because they can't decide which is the 'right' one for them. This is because we cannot predict the future, there is no guarantees of success in any choice. Boo! I know, if only there was a guide. This is a modern problem to be sure, the ...

26
Feb

by Una Hearne. Once you know what you want it is very powerful to get that Vision out of your mind and into your environment in a way that will keep it real for you. Something to remind you every day of what you are moving towards. A clear Vision gives you direction, keeps you motivated and helps you make choices, among other things. Most importantly if you are in a situation you don't want it helps you to focus on what you do want instead. Vision boards are the usual suggestion for ...

24
Jan

Happiness 11. Spooky magic

by Una Hearne Spooky magic happens with written goals. I have experienced this with my own Vision and goals as well as with clients'. We write specific goals, descriptive, detailed and as fully fleshed out as possible. From houses to job descriptions, life partners to behaviour change with specific results. Vision after Vision, goal after goal has manifested in spooky detail. Not all goals mind you - but far more than you would expect by chance - enough to make it seem like magic. I like to understand things and I like to be ...

24
Dec

by Una Hearne. Ooooh, big subject for a little blog! How brave am I? :-) Onward... I believe spirituality is an aspect of being human, along with being physical, mental and emotional creatures. For me spirituality is defined by the question most of us ask at some point 'Why are we here?'. This question has never been answerable by human beings. Religions / ideologies are attempts to answer the question and they all do it with a different story or explanation of the meaning of life. There are estimated to be 4,200 religions currently ...

24
Nov

        by Una Hearne. There are swamps of information and suggestions out there on goal setting so I'm not going to repeat the most common ones. I'm adding a few principles here which I have come to believe are essential. I hope they are helpful to you. You do NOT have to believe in yourself and your Vision to succeed. I know this isn't the party line in manifesting but I did not believe I could reach my Vision when I created it. After all, I was in the wrong job - which ...

24
Oct

Happiness 9. What do you mean by success?

by Una Hearne. 'They have it all' What exactly do we mean by this? What constitutes 'it all'? They have the money? Lifestyle? Family? Friends? Such nonsense. No one can have it all. It is not possible for one person to own everything in the world. Or to have all the relationships in the world. It is not possible for one person to have every career or adventure that it is now possible to have. No one is superwoman/superman. (They are cartoons not role models) (Also the outfit wouldn't work for everyone). So please ...

24
Sep

Happiness 8. Why create a Vision?

by Una Hearne. So why would you bother creating a Vision for yourself? Well, because that's the way to work with you brain. Consider this, how does a human being make anything happen? How do you get to work in the morning? How do people get married and have children? How do you operate your mobile phone? How did you eat your last meal? How do you put your socks on? How do you figure out what you want to do with your life? How do you find somewhere to live? Believe it or not ...

24
Aug

Happiness 7. Is it realistic to dream?

by Una Hearne. We are brought up to be deeply suspicious of day dreaming. Of imagining our future, of creating a vision for ourselves. We're told its all fanciful nonsense, we should get our heads out of the clouds and get on with real life. And yet, imagining what does not yet exist is one of the key characteristics of being human. If we didn't imagine and create we would still be living in caves. There would be no books, phones, cars or computers. Look around you, see all the things humans have invented, created ...

14
Jul

Happiness 6. Forgiveness

by Una Hearne. Forgive everybody - for everything.  This is a quote from Iyanla Vanzant from her forgiveness course. (Excellent course, not for the faint hearted!) Forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons we have to learn in life. It is also one of the most rewarding to master. Here's what I've learned about forgiveness so far. What forgiveness is NOT: Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the other person (or people). It is for you, it gives you back your power, energy, peace of mind and freedom. Forgiving someone does not mean you are condoning ...

24
Jun

Happiness 5. Gratitude

by Una Hearne. Keeping a gratitude journal is another of these deceptively simple practices which can have real and profound effects in your life. I've written and spoken many times about the importance of refocusing our attention from the negative to the positive. This is so that we balance our natural negative bias and also so that we focus our attention and effort on what we want to create in our lives, and not on what we don't want. Our thinking is mostly automatic. Awareness of what we are thinking and the ability to refocus, is ...

24
May

Happiness 4. Acceptance

by Una Hearne Acceptance is the final stage of the process of coming to terms with major life events. The Grief Cycle (denial, anger, bargaining, depression/ grief, acceptance) is familiar to most of us and is a useful framework although we don't go through it in a nice linear organised way. We bounce around the different feelings until we somehow get through it. The reason acceptance is so important is that you cannot move forward without it, you can't get to a better place. If you can't face the reality of what has happened to ...

24
Apr

Happiness 3. Where’s your evidence?

by Una Hearne. Continuing with simple practices to change your mindset, this one is about questioning your limiting beliefs. This is not about trying to live in a fantasy world where you believe in candy floss clouds and unicorns, although your welcome to if it helps. I'm talking here about believing the truth. Your truth. Taking your limiting beliefs and really examining them to see if they are true. If you are not sure what a limiting belief is or which ones you have, finish the following sentences. Don't think too much just note the first ...

24
Mar

Happiness 2. What does this mean about you?

by Una Hearne. The practices which improve your quality of life tend to be so simple we dismiss them. That's a pity since they can make a huge difference to our quality of life. Today, I'm going to suggest reframing as a practice. Your experience of life happens in your head. Your perception and interpretation of life is your reality. Now, some events and behaviour will trigger instant negative emotions in all of us - betrayal, bereavement, disappointment etc. These initial reactions and emotions are quite natural. They are not the majority of your life experience ...

24
Feb

Happiness 1. What is your most valuable asset?

by Una Hearne. For the rest of this year I will be re-running updated blogs. It's going to be a kind of course in happiness - focusing on mindset first and later in the year vision and action. So to kick us off - what is your most valuable asset? If you are thinking 'my house' 'my car' 'my cd collection' 'my rare 13th century whatjamacallit' I'll give you a moment to think again. Are we there yet? Good, well done, yes, it is you. Your brain, body, personality, abilities, experience and everything else that makes up ...

24
Jan

by Una Hearne. Will ye give over ye lunatics, you can't change other people. Stop that nonsense. I seem to be seeing a lot of people in misery at the moment because of what others have said or done. Most of their stress is because they think the other person 'should' behave or think the way they do themselves. Here's the problem with that - everyone's mind and experience are unique. Have you ever met a person who genuinely thinks exactly like you? In every situation? About every issue? Of course you haven't. Other ...

24
Dec

Una’s little world 46. Spirituality

by Una Hearne. Ooooh, big subject for a little blog! How brave am I? :-) Onward... I believe spirituality is an aspect of being human, along with being physical, mental and emotional creatures. For me spirituality is defined by the question most of us ask at some point 'Why are we here?'. This question has never been answerable by human beings. Nobody knows for certain. Religions / ideologies are attempts to answer the question and they all do it with a different story or explanation of the meaning of life. There are estimated to ...

24
Nov

by Una Hearne. We are all mad you know. Humans. We criticise ourselves in our own heads all day long. And then we wonder why we lack confidence or self-esteem. We shame ourselves in a similar way and wonder why we are not happy yet. Insanity. I believe - just my opinion - we have the right to be confident and happy most of the time. I can't see the value in making our lives more miserable than they need to be by playing negative tapes in our minds all day. I do ...

24
Oct

by Una Hearne. It is a seriously bad idea to label yourself with a 'weakness' and then carry that as if it is who you really are. 'My problem is I always/ I never...' 'I am a terrible...' As if the way you think and behave is fixed in every situation and for life. The specific problem with viewing characteristics as strengths or weaknesses is this: every strength can be a weakness and every weakness can be a strength. It totally depends on the situation. For example you might be sensitive and see ...

24
Sep

by Una Hearne. Those of us blessed (Eh?*!?*!?) with a chronic illness are forced to develop a high level of expertise in budgeting our very limited energy. But it's not just we who need these skills is it? It's you too. Not even the highest energy people can do everything they want to nowadays. There are endless possibilities in  work, home, social life, leisure, study, travel, etc. No one can fit into one lifetime everything that is available to do. Does your life feel in balance? Do you experience peace and happiness every ...

24
Jun

Una’s little world 42. Toxic culture

by Una Hearne. With our relative wealth and health in the developed world, we should all be happy and fulfilled, right? But no, we are increasingly stressed and anxious. Why? Why are we dealing with increasing levels of mental and physical illness? What is going on in our society that is so toxic to us? Given that different things stress different people in different ways, it is notoriously difficult to research stress and how it relates to health. Yet we all know stress can be the killer ingredient in any illness. I have much ...

24
May

Una’s little world 41. Living with M.E.

by Una Hearne. May is M.E. awareness month so I'm writing this to raise awareness of what it's like to live with. Living with any chronic illness is different for each person - this is my personal story. Please note I am not looking for sympathy, I believe everyone has sh*t to deal with in life, this is just my sh*t. :-) And I'll explain the picture at the end... History I have had M.E. since a bout of Glandular Fever (Mono) age 16, I'm now 55. Historically M.E. has been dismissed as a ...