by Una Hearne. Following from last month... Day two of our survival trek The increasing awareness that the wind battering us was going to be in our faces on the way down was a little distracting on the way up. By the time we reached the top, which we knew because we reached a rock - there were no other clues in the darkness and dense low cloud - the sun was rising. We inferred this from the grey light which began, surprising rapidly, if dimly, to illuminate the ground. The organisers wisely decided not ...
by Una Hearne. In a blatant act of self-care I am saving myself writing two blogs this year and instead recounting an epic adventure from 2013 in two parts. Enjoy... My friend Sinead and I (joint name Shinuna) have been on many roadtrips - generally to Spas to be pampered. In May 2013 we thought we'd do something different and raise money for the Red Cross by signing up for the Sunrise Challenge. A stroll up a mountain, fresh air and the mystical splendour of sunrise. Lovely. I'm not sure what caused this ...
by Una Hearne. For years I have been advocating the importance of celebration. Celebrating success certainly, but more importantly celebrating the action you take and the effort you put in to life. This builds real, lasting confidence. (See blog 10 Count a Victory for more on this.) Imagine my surprise when I discovered I wasn't practising what I preach? Yes - no surprise at all :-) Back in 2017 I was doing some counselling to help me come to terms with having a chronic illness (practising what I preach about getting the help ...
by Una Hearne. We talk in terms of fighting illness/ obesity/ drugs/ redundancies etc. Fighting can be a brilliant frame of mind. I have a friend who had cancer and approached it as a battle. With military efficiency she fought, she won and we couldn't be more pleased and proud of her. However, fighting is not always the right frame. It depends on the situation and what works for you as a person. For me, facing ME/CFS, I find the most useful frame of mind for me is the very opposite of fighting - ...
by Una Hearne. If you did something wrong or hurt someone deliberately - Ok go ahead, feel guilty. On the other hand if you are indulging in Ridiculous Guilt, pull your chair in closer and pin back your shell like... Ridiculous Guilt is inappropriate or misplaced. It is self-destructive and a huge energy cost. Guilt is directly related to how responsible we feel and while taking responsibility is obviously a good thing... it can become Ridiculous. Mothers, for example, from the moment of birth seem to gain an unlimited capacity for Ridiculous Guilt. Like: "My ...
by Una Hearne. Beth had two goals for the year. She set them the day she was diagnosed with cancer and told that her full time job for the year would be treatment. Her goals were: 1) Beat cancer 2) Spend as much time as possible with her sister who was getting married in September. They had always shared everything and Beth was not going to miss out on this. In between Chemo days, when Beth was well enough, she and her sister spent days planning, discussing and giggling. They went dress and ...
by Una Hearne. Like that hug when you feel utterly safe and loved. Or that moment when someone stands up for you and you know they will always have your back. Or the belly laughs you share with your best friends over something daft. The little things really are the big things. Which they can't be bought. Just saying. Thinking about belly laughs brought a couple of incidents back from the distant past. They happened because of two ME/CFS symptoms, which just goes to show - silver linings! Not that I'm making light these symptoms ...
by Una Hearne. I've noticed a certain weariness when these subjects come up. We have heard rather a lot about them recently, much of it on the evangelical side - which can be a turn off. In an effort to rescue their reputations as simple natural practices, I'd like to point out that we already practice mindfulness and meditation all the time. We might not use those names or conform to specific rituals - and while we can learn from great teachers and masters (personally I'm grateful to Oprah, Deepak Chopra and Eckhart ...
by Una Hearne. Here's a universal law: What works for one person won't necessarily work for another. In all areas of life there is common sense stuff that works for most of us but- there are no absolutes and no guarantees. You are the world expert on you, nobody knows you like you do. You are the only person qualified to make life/ relationship/ work/ health choices for you. You're welcome/ I'm sorry! Beware of 'experts' selling you answers, especially when there is no science behind them. In the ME/CFS world there are plenty of ...
by Una Hearne. In a break from me and M.E., (was that a hallelujah from the chorus?)(Rude!). I want to talk about limiting beliefs, specifically, beliefs around status. Two people I know - pioneers and my heroes - were successful business owners and professionals. The recession brought an end to both businesses some years ago. Both people felt at a loose end for a while and then both took jobs well below what would be perceived as their former status and abilities. It is the equivalent of a doctor retiring after 30 years ...
by Una Hearne. (Every time I talk about plans or visions or goals I feel the need to preface it with this: Don't get caught up in the words - if you don't relate to the word Vision, substitute in your mind whatever word works best for you, dream, strategy, objective... OK? Thanks :-)) So you put the work in and figured out what you want in life. You have a big Vision and a Plan. You are barrelling along making your dream life / job / relationship happen when, wham, all of ...
by Una Hearne. There's this old zen proverb: Once upon a time there was an old farmer who had worked his land for many years. One day his horse ran away. When the neighbours heard they said sympathetically 'Such bad luck!'. 'Perhaps' said the farmer. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it two wild horses. 'What great luck!' the neighbours exclaimed. 'Perhaps' replied the farmer. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the wild horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The ...
by Una Hearne. That title is for my generation! Sorry to all for whom it is a mystery, I couldn't resist. :-) So, I was pasted to my couch on a bad ME/CFS day, feeling sorry for myself. 'What exactly,' I thought to myself 'is the point of my life if I can't do the work I love. Of what use am I to anyone?' Unbidden, an image of one of my heart friends popped into my mind. I saw her lying on a couch and this question came to mind: 'If she did nothing at all for the rest of her life, would ...
by Una Hearne. Proper self-care is a necessary life skill. You need to put yourself first on your list. If you can't accept that on the basis that you are a fabulous human being and deserve it - then at least accept it on the logical basis that it is better for you and for the people around you. Here's the logic: We experience the most joy, reward and sustained happiness when we contribute our best to the world and share with other people. (Check this out with your own experience). We can ...
by Una Hearne. Boundaries exist in every relationship in the world. Usually unspoken and often unclear. Yet we know for sure when they are crossed. We feel it. Everyday we face boundary choices in relationships. In a conflict, how do I know who is right? Should I help every person who asks me? Is it ok for me to ask for help? Is this behaviour acceptable to me, in this situation, with this person? Should I compromise? Always? Never? NEWS FLASH... You own your own life. You get to make these decisions for yourself. You're ...
by Una Hearne. Human beings are hardwired to dislike uncertainty. Our Amygdala triggers our Fight/Flight/Freeze stress response when it senses a threat. And it assumes anything unknown is a threat. This was useful in prehistoric times when the unknown could be an immediate and deadly threat. Nowadays, we don't often face deadly threats. Yet the pace of change in our world means our future is ever more unpredictable - unknown - and our brains often settle into a permanent stress response. I was lucky enough to experience this fairly intensely when I worked in Anglo ...
by Una Hearne. 'IT'S NOT FAIR!' 'IT SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!!' You wouldn't blame me for thinking this since I am currently obliged to spend 20 hours a day lying down and I can only do a fraction of the things I want to. I wouldn't blame you for thinking the same about problems you might be facing: money, work, health or relationships ('THEY SHOULDN'T BE TREATING ME THIS WAY!') Understandable thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, this is called resistance. Resistance to the reality you find yourself in. It's the opposite of ...
by Una Hearne. You know when the train of your life derails and you are picking your way through the wreckage, trying to figure out what happens next? Welcome to Una's little world 2018! I started Una's Little World blog in February 2015 to share the story of turning Visions (goals/ dreams/ plans) into reality, using examples from my own life. It has only been available to email subscribers up till now, but I'm making it my main blog this year so it will be available publicly as well. It has been great sharing successful visions. ...