What is Coaching?

24
Nov

87 Judge much?

by Una Hearne. Judging and criticising other people comes from deep insecurity about ourselves. Now, I'm not talking about judging people appropriately for violence or abuse, that's a different matter. I'm talking about judging and criticising others for stuff that's none of our business to judge them for. For example: their opinions; thoughts; looks; habits; choices; background; actions... Ringing any bells? I noticed this with a group of mothers recently. I'm not picking on mothers, it's an example of something which is rampant across all our lives. So this group of moms discussed every aspect of child rearing and what their ...

24
Jun

83 There’s nothing wrong with money

by Una Hearne. Our beliefs about money and ourselves are reflected in the state of our finances. Our abilities to earn, spend and save. (Oh no!!!) A large part of our belief system comes from the family and culture we were brought up in. We will often follow patterns that we have experienced around us (or rebel and do the opposite). For example, if you believe rich people are inherently bad or horrible people, you will subconsciously prevent yourself from becoming one of them. On the other hand, if you believe poor people are ...

24
Feb

79 Mind reading much?

by Una Hearne. So many people still assume that everyone that other people experience life in much the same way they do, thinks like they do, and feels the same as they do. Couldn't be more wrong really. We each sense, interpret and experience the world in a completely unique way. When other people say or do something in a way we wouldn't have, we are shocked! They appear to be some kind of alien. "How can you say that?" "Why would anyone do that?" I am very fond of saying 'Other people are aliens. And. ...

24
Oct

75 Who are you, now?

by Una Hearne. Who are you? Right now, today? This is a core question in personal development. The foundation of all coaching is who are you and what do you want? Self knowledge and awareness grounds you. To know who you are and what you stand for means that in turbulent times you can navigate your life with confidence. It means in the midst of chaos you can make the best choices for yourself. Everyone experiences times of success and times of turbulence. Those who know and love themselves fare better, they adapt more easily ...

24
Jun

71 How you spend your time

by Una Hearne. Here's a fabulous and ... well, potentially horrifying, exercise you can do to check out the choices you are making for yourself on a daily basis. Before you dismiss the idea, trust me, it's worth the horror as it brings awareness and gives you the power to make better choices for yourself. It's simple (I do like simple things!) - Record what you do every hour of your day for at least a week - better still for a month. Literally every hour, or even half hour if that makes more sense in your ...

24
Feb

67 Coaching – Why now?

by Una Hearne. There's no denying our lives are getting more complex. This is what happens as societies develop, and technology has increased the pace of change for us to a rate, I for one, can't quite keep up with. We have more choice and opportunity than ever before. We can study anything we like, at any time of our lives. We can have multiple careers, live or travel in different countries, set up new types of business, organise our personal lives in any way we want, have a multitude of pursuits and interests and ...

20
Nov

63 Core beliefs

by Una Hearne. There are things that you believe to be true - about yourself, other people and the world. These are core beliefs, not objective truths that are the same for everyone, but beliefs masquerading as the truth. Core beliefs are the deeply rooted ones which, until you become aware of them, you don't even know you have. You can hear them in things we say: 'That's just the way it is' 'I am like that' 'I always... I never...' 'People are like that.' If our perceptions were objectively, verifiably, true, we would all have the same ...

25
Sep

59 One way to build your confidence

by Una Hearne. You can build your own deep-seated, unshakeable, authentic confidence with a very simple daily practice:  Acknowledge everything brilliant you do, every success, every step, no matter how small. Simple! Well, if we could remember to do it, it would be! So this is a reminder. Please bear in mind I am not saying ignore mistakes or areas you can improve. This is good valuable stuff but becomes destructive if it is all you ever focus on, or even if you focus on the negative more than the positive. Human beings build on success - ...

31
Jul

55 You cannot diagnose a person

by Una Hearne. The reason I have avoided using psychometric tools in coaching and personal development is that I actually believe people know more about themselves than any tools or other people can tell them. Radical concept I know! Good quality personality profiling tools like DISC or Myers Briggs are ok and can provide some insight. However they are most useful in demonstrating that individuals are different (no kidding!) and equal. Not right or wrong, just different. This realisation is essential for us to understand each other and to work and live successfully together. The problem with ...

12
Jun

by Una Hearne. In the world today, we have to adapt and change as never before in human history. Most of us experience multiple career changes and experience times of wealth and scarcity. Many of us live in multiple countries during our lives, have more than one marriage-type relationship and move house several times. We can study a huge variety of subjects, choose from a wide variety of work and organise our personal lives to suit ourselves. There is more opportunity and choice available to us than ever before and this is clearly fantastic. However, along with this choice and complexity ...

17
Apr

47 Confidence

by Una Hearne. This is one of the most common issues clients bring to me. For some it is the main issue, for some a side issue and for others - those who see it as a weakness - it is often a hidden issue. All of my clients gain confidence, it is a natural by-product of the coaching process, even when it isn't the focus. I've noticed a few things about confidence over the years and, as usual, I offer my thoughts to stimulate your own. Most people who lack confidence feel they are ...

20
Feb

43 Time management

by Una Hearne. A lot of time management courses are rubbish because they don't establish the most important principle before they show you their techniques and tools. Here's the most important principle: You need to know what is important to you, what really matters in your life, in order to choose wisely what you spend your time on. You have a finite amount of time in your life. You don't know how long you have. You can't 'make' any more time. The power and control you have in this area is in how you choose to use the ...

19
Dec

by Una Hearne. A problem or obstacle is the initial condition necessary to provoke a creative solution, and progress. Human being are hard wired to solve problems. It’s how our brain’s work. Something comes up and we sort it out. Different people are naturally good at different types of problem solving. Look at this list, you won’t feel competent in all of these areas, there will be a few you feel ‘yes, I do that sort of thing well’ – and for the purposes of this blog ‘problem’ is just something that requires a ...

24
Oct

by Una Hearne. Nothing. IF you are making suggestions and are not attached to whether the person takes your advice or not. If you give someone advice about their lives and you believe you are right, and they should do what you say, the underlying message is always 'I know better than you.' This is especially true is they have not asked for your advice. It is patronising and undermines their confidence (whether they are conscious of this or not). It is also wrong. You don't know what another adult should do or ...

29
Aug

31 Career decision points

by Una Hearne. The way the coaching process works, in essence, is simple. 1 You imagine what you want / where you want to be. Create a vision. 2 You assess where you are now and what resources you have. You generate options and plan how you are going to achieve your vision. 3 You take action and deal with obstacles along the way. (Note I tend to use the word vision - if you don't like this word or it doesn't resonate with you please substitute whichever of the following you prefer:  goal, dream, outcome, mission, ...

04
Jul

27 Size doesn’t matter

by Una Hearne. Sometimes in coaching it's not about big dramatic external change like a change of career, moving country or starting the next multinational corporation. Sometimes a small internal shift can change your life. A change of perspective, a shift in beliefs, a re-direction of strategy. Clients often come to coaches saying they want to change career, to do something completely different, they are bored or fed up or never really wanted the career they have. Some do change to a completely different area, some change aspects of their career and some change nothing ...

06
Jun

23 Engaging a coach

by Una Hearne. Coaching is an unregulated industry at the moment. Anyone can call themselves a coach and charge people money for what may or may not be coaching. If you think about longer established professions such as medicine, law or accounting, their qualifications, code of ethics and governing bodies provide a lot of protection for clients. It may sometimes be unwieldy and a hindrance but overall, proper regulation does protect people. Paradoxically I'm not hung up on qualifications for some professions, particularly the ones engaged in supporting people in their daily lives. I ...

09
May

by Una Hearne. People are often prompted to use a coach because they are unhappy with some aspect of their life or career. But it doesn't have to be about moving on from a bad situation. It is about moving forward from wherever you are. Coaching, at its heart, is about raising your awareness and developing as a person. This is just as valid when life is great as it is when life is tough. Change is inevitable, life will move on and the more conscious and engaged you are, the richer ...

11
Apr

15 Spooky magic

by Una Hearne. Magic happens around written goals. I have experienced this with my own goals and with clients' goals. Not all goals mind you - but more than you would expect - enough to make it spooky. I get my clients to write specific goals, descriptive, detailed and as fully fleshed out as possible. From houses to job descriptions, life partners to behaviour change with specific results, goal after goal has manifested in spooky detail. As I said, not all goals but too many to dismiss. I do love spooky magic! I also like to ...

14
Mar

11 What is coaching?

by Una Hearne. Good news - You have the power to manage your life. YAY! Bad news - It is your responsibility to manage your life and no one else's. DOH! How are you doing with this? As we have evolved as a species, we have developed specialities. For example, early on, farmers, potters, builders, sailors and other professions emerged as the advantages of specialising in different bodies of knowledge became apparent. The whole community does better when the sum of all the knowledge and skill is more than one individual could contribute. Doctors, cleaners, ...

14
Feb

7 What is coaching?

by Una Hearne. Sometimes it seems hard to explain! It is a series of powerful, purposeful conversations between a client and coach over a period of time. It is a transformative process. It is a personal and developmental support. It is a success accelerator. It is empowering. It gets you back in touch with yourself. It is facilitated goal setting. It is a tailored process which helps you get from where you are to where you want to be quicker and more effectively than you can on your own. It is all ...

18
Jan

by Una Hearne. One of the key skills in coaching is listening. Listening in a way that we don't often encounter in our lives. For me, the best description is by Nancy Kline in her book Time to Think. In the introduction she describes how her mother listened to them as children: "She simply gave us attention. But the quality of that attention was catalytic." Nancy then goes on to describe how later studies of thinking in students showed that: "The important factor in whether or not they could think for themselves, afresh, at a ...