Una's Blog


59 One way to build your confidence

graphic-2by Una Hearne.

You can build your own deep-seated, unshakeable, authentic confidence with a very simple daily practice:  Acknowledge everything brilliant you do, every success, every step, no matter how small.

Simple! Well, if we could remember to do it, it would be! So this is a reminder.

Please bear in mind I am not saying ignore mistakes or areas you can improve. This is good valuable stuff but becomes destructive if it is all you ever focus on, or even if you focus on the negative more than the positive. Human beings build on success – when we know we can do things, we have the confidence to try more. If you think you can – you will have a go and likely prove yourself right. If you think you can’t – you will generally prove yourself right again – often by not even trying.

We do have a built in tendency to focus on the negative, it is a protective mechanism which is fine as far as it goes, but it also means we are often more afraid to take risks than the reality warrants.

So the way to rebalance our focus is to consciously acknowledge our successes, brilliance, creativity and all of our positive characteristics. Setting out to notice everything good, useful, constructive and successful you think, do and say gives you invaluable learning to build on. You don’t even have to tell other people (you definitely don’t have to go out boasting and boring everyone to tears) it’s just to ensure you take it on board for yourself. Every time you acknowledge something good you thought, said or did, you build your confidence.

The most effective way to do this is to celebrate, everything, often. You don’t have to spend money or do anything flashy to do this. Sharing an achievement with someone close is a celebration, rewarding yourself with your favourite pastime, or treat, or time off, are all excellent ways to celebrate – as good as parties and champagne. Every time you celebrate yourself, accept a genuine compliment or positive feedback, you reinforce your ability to achieve. And that gives you the confidence to achieve more tomorrow. It is a self sustaining upward spiral.

Celebrating achievements is not self indulgent, selfish, arrogant or unnecessary, it is a fundamental building block in confidence and success.


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