Una's Blog

by Una Hearne.

Habitually positive thinkers are happier than habitually negative thinkers. I’m just going to take that as read and gallop on.

Here’s the thing, your experience of life (your thoughts and feelings) is created in your brain. Events happen, people behave as they do and you interpret everything that happens around you according to your beliefs, values, previous experience and other unique personal filters. If your thoughts and feelings were created by the events or other people, outside of you, we would all experience the same thoughts and feelings as a result of the same event or behaviour. And of course we don’t. For example, if two people are asked to give a speech, one might be excited and delighted while the other one is terrified. It’s the same event but interpreted differently by different people.

Your interpretation of events creates your feelings and dictates how you will react. So whether you interpret life more negatively or positively can have a dramatic impact on your experience of life, and the real results you get from your actions. Imagine you are going to a meeting tomorrow, you are pitching for business or interviewing for a job. The outcome really matters to you and you are appropriately nervous and well prepared. If you are in a positive frame of mind going in and anything seems possible, you will present yourself well, pay attention to the other person, listen, connect and communicate effectively. If you are in a negative frame of mind, anticipating rejection, you are likely to be more resentful, either confrontational or closed and present yourself poorly. Which attitude is likely to get you better results?

The good news is that you can become a more positive thinker if you want to. Sometimes it is very difficult to change deep rooted habitual thinking and sometimes it is easy and happens as a result of a flash of insight.

The bad news is that nobody can change your thinking for you. Other people can help, but the decision to change thinking that is not working for you and the actual work of changing it is down to you.

The good news is that you can do it. A pattern of thinking is just that, a pattern. A belief is just a belief – changeable. Your thinking is not ‘just the way you are’ inevitable and out of your control, it is something that you can recognise and choose to change.

Knowing this, what do you choose now?