by Una Hearne. The practices which improve your quality of life tend to be so simple we dismiss them. That's a pity since they can make a huge difference to our quality of life. Today, I'm going to suggest reframing as a practice. Your experience of life happens in your head. Your perception and interpretation of life is your reality. Now, some events and behaviour will trigger instant negative emotions in all of us - betrayal, bereavement, disappointment etc. These initial reactions and emotions are quite natural. They are not the majority of your life experience ...
by Una Hearne. So many people indulge in self-beating. It breaks my heart. We do it naturally because we have a conscience (the purpose of which is to help us avoid harming others and to live peacefully together!?). However we are not meant to beat ourselves up all day every day. It not only hurts us and undermines our self-worth, it also depletes us and means we have less to offer the world. Over the years I have noticed various levels of self-beating and I'm setting out the qualification structure here so ...
by Una Hearne. So many clients, so many times I've heard 'I don't have time to figure out my Vision, I need a job NOW!!' People in terrible jobs, desperate to move on, people not working and panicking about getting any job. I totally understand this thinking - been there myself. A few times. The problem with this thinking is it leads to slow progress and is very often unsuccessful. It seems counter intuitive, but putting the time and effort into identifying clearly what you actually want is a much faster and more successful way to get into ...
by Una Hearne. Judging and criticising other people comes from deep insecurity about ourselves. Now, I'm not talking about judging people appropriately for violence or abuse, that's a different matter. I'm talking about judging and criticising others for stuff that's none of our business to judge them for. For example: their opinions; thoughts; looks; habits; choices; background; actions... Ringing any bells? I noticed this with a group of mothers recently. I'm not picking on mothers, it's an example of something which is rampant across all our lives. So this group of moms discussed every aspect of child rearing and what their ...
by Una Hearne. Setting good boundaries with other people is about honouring yourself - recognising you are as valuable and worthy as everyone else. Are you the type who always says yes - likes to do anything for anyone? We are hardwired to help each other - survival and flourishing for humans has always meant collaborating. Wanting to help and support others is a wonderful impulse and is good for everyone. When we help others we feel great, right up to the point where it is inappropriate or is taking too much from us. Then we feel ...
by Una Hearne In many of my talks and workshops I deal with the idea of being able to speak positively and confidently about yourself. I talk about building real inner confidence to make this possible. At some point I am always asked if this isn't arrogance or won't it seem like arrogance. Well no, it's not. There is a massive difference. Real confidence in yourself is based on understanding the truth of how fabulous you really are (You are, I've checked). The confusion between arrogance and confidence arises because some insecure people - who are ...
by Una Hearne. Are you looking for work and finding the search frustrating? Are you searching for your purpose or passion? Volunteering could be a good way to use some of your time as part of your search strategy. Here are a few reasons it might work for you: You can get relevant experience in an area you are interested in. If you are particularly interested in a few specific organisations and you can get a volunteer position (or internship) you could get a really good feel for the organisations - culture, work, people and find out if ...
by Una Hearne. You can build your own deep-seated, unshakeable, authentic confidence with a very simple daily practice: Acknowledge everything brilliant you do, every success, every step, no matter how small. Simple! Well, if we could remember to do it, it would be! So this is a reminder. Please bear in mind I am not saying ignore mistakes or areas you can improve. This is good valuable stuff but becomes destructive if it is all you ever focus on, or even if you focus on the negative more than the positive. Human beings build on success - ...
by Una Hearne. This is one of the most common issues clients bring to me. For some it is the main issue, for some a side issue and for others - those who see it as a weakness - it is often a hidden issue. All of my clients gain confidence, it is a natural by-product of the coaching process, even when it isn't the focus. I've noticed a few things about confidence over the years and, as usual, I offer my thoughts to stimulate your own. Most people who lack confidence feel they are ...
by Una Hearne. Is this a cultural thing or a human thing? I am most familiar with Irish and English people and there is an attitude bred into a lot of us that talking about ourselves in positive terms is a bad thing. It is considered far more virtuous to be modest and to underplay our achievements. In most public situations this is fine, it is true that we find a boastful or self absorbed person tedious or even obnoxious. On the other hand if we don't ...
by Una Hearne. Sometimes in coaching it's not about big dramatic external change like a change of career, moving country or starting the next multinational corporation. Sometimes a small internal shift can change your life. A change of perspective, a shift in beliefs, a re-direction of strategy. Clients often come to coaches saying they want to change career, to do something completely different, they are bored or fed up or never really wanted the career they have. Some do change to a completely different area, some change aspects of their career and some change nothing ...
by Una Hearne. You send out CVs, you apply for jobs, you do interviews and... months later, still nothing. What happens? You feel rejected and lose confidence. This lowers the quality and impact of your applications and interviews, which means you have less chance of getting a job and so it spirals on. The key thing in a job hunt is to maintain your confidence so you consistently perform at your best. Easy to say I know. It means not allowing the process of job hunting to get you down or let negative ...
