by Una Hearne. You know that situation where someone close to you is dealing with something big? Bereavement, divorce, job loss, illness... You want to help, you really want to say the right thing. But either you have no idea what to say, or anything you say seems to be wrong and makes things worse! There is no magic answer. Sorry! Everyone is different, needs different things and you are not psychic. And that's OK. Some of us want to talk, some don't. Some want to melt down and sob, some want to ...
by Una Hearne. Our beliefs about money and ourselves are reflected in the state of our finances. Our abilities to earn, spend and save. (Oh no!!!) A large part of our belief system comes from the family and culture we were brought up in. We will often follow patterns that we have experienced around us (or rebel and do the opposite). For example, if you believe rich people are inherently bad or horrible people, you will subconsciously prevent yourself from becoming one of them. On the other hand, if you believe poor people are ...
by Una Hearne. If you knew for certain that something you were going to do or say would make someone's life better, you'd just go ahead and do it - right? What if you knew for a fact that smiling at the person on the checkout would make them feel better, would you spare them a smile? If telling someone how great they are gave them the courage to go and do something brave and brilliant, would you choose to tell them? If you knew you were influencing a child, just by the way you live and what you say, ...
by Una Hearne. Nothing. IF you are making suggestions and are not attached to whether the person takes your advice or not. If you give someone advice about their lives and you believe you are right, and they should do what you say, the underlying message is always 'I know better than you.' This is especially true is they have not asked for your advice. It is patronising and undermines their confidence (whether they are conscious of this or not). It is also wrong. You don't know what another adult should do or ...
