Una's Blog


Una’s little world 25. Do Not make New Year’s resolutions

by Una Hearne

Too late? You did? How’s that working for you?

You probably know by now they don’t usually work. And then they make you feel bad about yourself. What a terrible way to start a new year.

Here’s a better idea. Get yourself a cuppa, a notebook and snuggle up in your favourite chair. Now: Write down all the brilliant things you did and that happened to you last year.

Ok I know, you immediately think of all the bad things that happened and failures. Don’t worry this is normal. You can’t not think of these. Instead, for every negative thing that occurs write what you gained from it, what you learned and even what you would do different next time. That’s the only rule – so your whole list ends up positive.

Then keep going with all the brilliant stuff, happy times and achievements – trust me once you get going this list will grow surprisingly. A lot of the best things will be the little things – shared laughter and good times with loved ones. Your achievements won’t necessarily be anything anyone else noticed – they could be ‘I was there for a friend’ or ‘I got through the tough times’ etc. An achievement is anything you are proud of yourself for. When writing achievements it is important to notice the effort you put in, far more than the outcome. Success is its own reward and is not always in our control. This exercise is to see for yourself what YOU have done. Your courage, your compassion, your hard work, your humour, your intention, your skills. When you are finished, let it sink in a bit, spend some time feeling good about yourself. How often do you do this? I’d bet good money it’s not often enough.

If you think this is horribly self-indulgent, you are wrong. Acknowledging yourself and owning how great you are is how you build real self-worth and unshakable confidence. Recognising how you have coped with difficulties builds real resilience. This exercise makes you a more secure and happy person, more attractive to be around. And the funny thing is, when you truly love and appreciate yourself, you are far more able to love and appreciate others.

Here’s some highlights from my list to spark your thinking:

  • On bad M.E. days, I wrapped myself in my blanky and minded myself as I would a sick child.
  • I had a few mini adventures and a lot of laughs.
  • I spent precious time with my heart friends.
  • I savoured the few hours a week I was able to work.
  • I made myself rest far more than I wanted, and only a little less than I needed!

Your turn. Enjoy 🙂



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