Una's Blog


Una’s little world 45. You can’t criticise yourself confident

by Una Hearne.

We are all mad you know. Humans. We criticise ourselves in our own heads all day long. And then we wonder why we lack confidence or self-esteem. We shame ourselves in a similar way and wonder why we are not happy yet. Insanity.

I believe – just my opinion – we have the right to be confident and happy most of the time. I can’t see the value in making our lives more miserable than they need to be by playing negative tapes in our minds all day. I do not mean suppressing natural feelings, pretending to be happy or ignoring hardships or mistakes. Life gives us plenty of difficulties to face which are properly sad or unjust. It is important to experience life fully, to feel all of our feelings in order to let them pass on naturally.

The problem with negative thinking is when it becomes unconsciously habitual. You probably know some people who are so attached to their sorrow, anger or fear that this is all they focus on. All they think and talk about. It is easy to see that this kind of habitual negativity doesn’t make them happy or change their situation in the least. It just makes for a less happy experience of life.

The good news is we can choose to change negative thinking habits to positive. Again, I do not mean pretending to be happy or faking it. I just mean choosing happier and calmer thoughts regularly to shift our habitual thinking towards the positive. I can personal report that it works and makes for a happier life. But don’t take my word for it. Try it out for a week and if you like it try it out for a lifetime.

It’s easy enough once you start identifying the negative habitual thoughts you have. The practice is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones when you catch them. Do it often enough and you rewire your brain, literally.

For example, a common habitual thought is ‘I’m not good enough.’ When you catch yourself thinking it, immediately think of the positive opposite: I am always good enough just as I am’. Repeat three times to yourself or as often as you like, you can’t repeat it too often. It’s important to use your version of these words.

Now for some of you the positive opposite of your thought will be a step too far, your subconscious just won’t buy it. That’s ok, you don’t have to go all the way in one step. Just reach for a better feeling thought. Maybe something like: ‘I am learning that I am as good as anyone else’. Whatever feels right to you.

Give it a go and see what happens. 🙂



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