Una's Blog

 

 

 

by Una Hearne.

Proper self-care is a necessary life skill. You need to put yourself first on your list. If you can’t accept that on the basis that you are a fabulous human being and deserve it – then at least accept it on the logical basis that it is better for you and for the people around you.

Here’s the logic: We experience the most joy, reward and sustained happiness when we contribute our best to the world and share with other people. (Check this out with your own experience). We can only contribute our best when we are in the best state. That is, when our needs are met and we have opportunities for fulfilment and happiness. Therefore, for the benefit of the world and people around us, we must take personal responsibility for being in our best state, by caring for ourselves first.

We hear a lot about physical self-care. Mental/emotional self-care is equally important. In particular the effect of our own thoughts on ourselves can be caring or destructive. When my fairy godmother shows up, one of my wishes will be that everyone thinks ‘I want‘ rather than ‘I should‘ when making choices for themselves. This is the thing I think would make the biggest difference with self-care. Because even if you end up making the exact same choices, there is a world of difference between consciously choosing something and feeling like you have no choice.

How familiar is this sort of thinking: ‘Oh lordy, I really should be working/ cleaning the house/ unblocking the sink, instead of wasting time on facebook.’ This sends a message to your subconscious that you are procrastinating AGAIN and you will probably make that mean that you are a loser, still not good enough. What you are doing is beating yourself up – chipping away at your own self-esteem – not good self-care.

Suppose instead, you chose consciously:

Either ‘I’m going to work/ clean/ do that horrible job now, because I’ll feel so much better when it’s done.’

Or ‘I’m going to stay on facebook because I want a break just now.’

Both of these thoughts send a message to your subconscious that you are in charge and your feelings are worth considering. Confidence building – good self-care.

There is a massive difference in what happens to you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually if you choose what to do on the basis of what you actually, really want for yourself. Don’t take my word for it, try it out and see if it’s true for you.

 

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