Una's Blog


5 We are not afraid of dying.

graphic-1by Una Hearne.

I remember a lot of funerals when I was a child. Two grandparents and three uncles anyway. Large gatherings of extended family, ham sandwiches and fizzy drinks. My dad told me people are afraid of death, that’s why they don’t want to talk about it. People spoke of death in hushed tones. I understood the reverence, after all it is a huge thing. But afraid of it? I never truly understood that. Death always seemed pretty natural to me, inescapably part of life.

Ok, I was an odd kid, I’ll give you that.

Another thought that began to bother me sometime in childhood and developed over the years was the amount of time people spend being miserable. A lot of it seemed to be because of work. People working in jobs they hated and facing an apparent life sentence with the promise of a secure retirement of indeterminate length being the reward. I sensed the quiet desperation behind it all. This always seemed a little nuts to me – even though I now understand why we do it and did it myself for years.

The two thoughts collided in my mind at some point and I realised we are not afraid of death at all, we are afraid of not having lived.

I think it is crazy to live as though we have no choice in how we live. If we only have this life – why should we resign ourselves to situations that make us miserable? As a coach and trainer I help people to wake up, become aware of who they are and what really matters to them. I help them figure out what choices will bring them more of what makes them happy. We all have the power to direct our lives, indeed we do it every day with every choice we make. And we always have the power to choose differently, better.

If that’s true, what do you choose next?

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